Monday, July 31, 2006

summer nights.


this monday worked out for me.

but i did lose my only blue pen. that was my fault. i still don't know where i could have left it. chris made a sign on it with my name. blue pens are like gold in a production office. and sadly, people like swiping things from my poor little desk. it's the first desk when you walk into the office. this is how i lost my red sharpie today. i hope one day it will turn up again...

work was good. people were wearing thin by the end of the night due to the weather (it was pretty warm all day - even through the night, it's still really warm). I think it's beautiful.

After work I drove home. barely spent a moment here before being invited out to High Park to watch a movie in the great outdoors. So fun. a small group of us met up to watch "Shark Tales" under the stars on an inflatable projection screen. It was a fun little summer monday activity. i miss watching the films at the waterfront at the cibc stage. Great spot. i dunno why that isn't going on this summer.

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For the ladies. You know when you just feel like dressing up?

I've found that I have been such a girl lately.

For the past two days, I have put out the extra effort to 'look the part' and get all gussied up and skirted up...well as gussied up as I come. And both days I was told by a different boy that I looked good. Both times I smiled, cause a comment like that coming from a boy is way different then hearing it from a girl. It's just nice when boys notice. Even when it is a friend or coworker, it's still nice.

I think most girls know what I'm talking about here.

gives you that extra skip in your step.

*sigh*

i sit and wonder.

did he notice me?

ugh.

i'm such a girl.

-----------------------

Shout out to my friend Mark J. Who will not be attending Freekout this summer (sad) as a friend is getting married in England. HOWEVER, he will be donating Stuart, his lovely vehicle, to provide access to Bon Echo to a few more of the pack. Apparently we are experiencing a car shortage for the camping trip. Yikes. Hats off to you Mark and your kind gesture.


Photos can be found at Natalie Dee's website. Check it out and enjoy the visit.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

when is it ever the right time...


You know when you are faced with a situation that you can't rush...

that you don't want to rush...

and at the same time, you just want to know what the deal is?

Isn't that life?

What gives? seriously...

God has proven in the past that patience is a great virtue...but at the same time, does patience with dealing with a situation put you in a spot where you are just prolonging something that really is nothing? This will make perfect sense to anyone feeling something similar to myself...

I pray that I make the right decision.

In other news...tonight's sermon & worship rocked. Many thanks to David & Cyril and to the worship team (Leah, Andrew, Bradley). It was a great night to be at church.

Psalm 121. The traveler's psalm. : )

The happy moments that spare me from this apartment plague...


Despite all the bad things going on in my apartment right now, I am looking through the dark annoying clouds and finding some sunshine.

Quick recap of my last week...

A few notable smiles...


TWO FRIDAYS AGO:

: ) = Gold medal ribbon ice cream milkshake
: ) = 6 on 5 baseball game
: ) = trying to figure out why…
: ) = driving on clear roads tonight…after dealing with the clubbing district pathway
: ) = a 6.40 am phone call from my Grandfather (only he would ever do that…)

I was picking up Julie & Shannon's lunch today, and it was right near a Baskin Robbins - and since Julie was getting a milkshake...I decided I probably deserved one too. :) Any excuse for a milkshake. Softball was great. We actually played a game. It was 6 on 5 with the red team at the advantage. It was a blast, despite the fact that blue lost 20some points to 3. The red team started to try to get out since they were so long at bat at times. It was funny. We had a blue team heckler. Eventually, I got him to be nicer to us, and in the last inning, he actually cheered for us. Our three points were the MOST enthusiastic ones of the game. Hats off to True Blue Fever. Friday morning driving in to work - my phone rings at like 6.40am. It's not Shannon's cell, so I thought this was strange. It was my grandfather. Go figure. Leave it to him to phone so early in the morning. The funniest thing is that he tried my brother too that early. I know I'm strange and was awake at the time, but not too many people I know voluntarily wake up at that time. : ) Oh grampy, you make me laugh.


Last weekend - rocked...


After softball, we chilled out at the Richmond Rogue. Then i drove some teamates home. It was a fun evening getting to know more about the team. Fun crowd.

Saturday morning, despite the lack of sleep due to the maggot infestation cleaning mission, I woke up for my long time coming haircut. I was SOOOOOOO happy to be there and to get those many inches chopped off. My hair was super long and some people think that's fun...but when it's just dead and yucky, and split-endy, not so fun for the one with the hair. So I went all out and got fun bangs and layers and partial highlights (first time in my life). I wanted my hair to not look so dark and cold. So there are warming layers in it now. I think it's cute. :) And despite my fear of showering away Michael Barnett's (the stylist) sleek hair do, I have thus far been able to maintain the look. Despite my lack of stainless steel hair straightener.

------

After the morning at the 'salon', I rushed home to grab something before heading off to pick up my brother. We were to meet our grandparents who wandered through Toronto for a short trip. We met up at the Richtree Market at Front & Yonge. It was hilarious. After meeting up, we spent some time chatting. Note - there was no line up at the beginning. But we didn't do the chatting at the line up, we stayed at the fountain where we originally met. So, by the time we decided to be smart about chatting while waiting in line, there was a big crowd waiting to be sitted.

The Richtree is a cute little market place, where you travel to different stations to order different types of food. Anyway, I think we walked around for like 15mins and we kept bumping into each other, and NO ONE had food on their plates yet. My brother later said, that the first time he bumped into one of us with food on our tray, was with Grammy, and all she had on her tray was a BUN!!! It was sad. None of us were inspired. I was sooooo hungry, that I kept ordering carbs. Unfortunately, once you start eating carbs, you can't eat too much. It fills you up a lot. So I kept passing food off to my brother through the meal.

After a lovely meal, we decided to walk over to the Skydome (aka Rogers Centre) to try to nab tickets to the NY Yankees/Toronto Blue Jays Series game 3. Nice and cheap. In the 500 section we sat, and I thought it was great. I grew up with people who lived near all of their extended family - and you always heard about how they spent their weekend with their grandparents fishing, with their aunts/uncles/cousins camping...etc. I always wanted to experience that. So it was just so nice to be with them at the game. I kept looking over and smiling at them knowing they were with us. Here you had two Toronto fans rooting and cheering alongside two very devout NY Yankees fans. Funny.

I have dreams of meeting up with them on worldly travels...

So a nice Saturday with the family.

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Sunday. Met up with my sister and her husband for brunch at the SENATOR on Victoria. Not a special place, but it was fun. My sister announced to us that she is currently expecting their first child. (congrats guys). First one of the next generation. I pray that the newborn is welcomed into this world safely and in good health.

Spent the morning chatting. Then Brian made us watch a video he took from his family reunion (that took place on the Saturday)...a video of his family shucking corn. :p

Tried to catch up with the gang to play ultimate frisbee/waterwars...but couldn't find them. So I went home and got caught up in some things before heading off to church.

Many thanks to my Goosey for lending me an ear tonight. Your friendship is much appreciated.

Nothing too exciting. I was kind of numb on Sunday. Feeling strange. Drove Megarrah home and chatted with her for a bit (you're too funny girl...).

Hmmmm. Well. That recaps my last weekend.


My thoughts through last week...

I don't remember much happening last week. Nothing too eventful. Our living room dated another Living Room this week. That was fun. There ended up being only like 6 of us there. Rachel made this delicious summer pie (soooo yummy). We had wonderful worship and a great time getting to know one another and just laughing and having fun.

Another great moment last week was yet another ice cream surprise. Thursday was our show's(Naturally, Sadie) lead actress' 17th birthday. So we went all out with a HUGE Baskin Robbins Ice Cream Cake. Oh yes my friends, it was the best surprise ever, Gold Medal Ribbon ice cream birthday cake. Sooooooooooooo Yummy. When Julie and I found out that it was GMR, we were both sooo happy.

It's the little things in life.

Softball - week two of gaming it...

Despite the rain, people showed up. It downpoured this past Friday, on and off all day. Luckily, it stopped by the end of the afternoon. Got to the field, not dressed to play at all. I had a feeling the game would be nixed.

Walked the field, and it wasn't that bad...the outfield at least. The dugouts were flooded and behind home plate and a great length of the infield just behind 2nd base was a stream of water. Many of us tossed balls around, but eventually 9 people in total showed up. Game on. Advantage blue team, with 5 0n 4. It was a fun game, especially when the ball would land in the stream like puddle by 2nd base. People would be stunned and it would affect the speed of our plays. But oh so funny. I was playing first base tonight. I really had fun there. Got in some good catches. It was just a fun time. The game ended tied 9-9. With runners on two bases, I was the LAST batter up to end the game. I hit shallow infield and never made it to first base. It was fun though. I was the only girl playing tonight. Although, Shawna did join us at the field...she ended up as umpire in the end. I think she might join us next week...

Hit up the Richmond Rogue again. Had a blast with five of the players (John, Dan, Brent, Shawna, Dave). It was just a good time after a fun game.

By the time others had to split, we didn't want to go home right away, so Brent, Shawna and I headed up to 'The Putting Edge' for some glo in the dark fun. Concluded a great evening. I represented my family name quite well leading the players with a score of 52 (par is 53). They were not that far behind...but I don't remember exactly what they had...sorry. After leaving the mini putt, we were drawn towards this pub outside the AMC who had a live band playing covers. We sat down to chat for a bit more and enjoyed the music before heading home.

I was a good girl this weekend working hard core at spring cleaning the bedroom/closet parts of my apartment. Caught up in my sleep...nothing too much more to say about Saturday.

Out.

When will this thing ever end?

Aight people. The story of my apartment plague.

Should be fun. Grab some popcorn and get cozy - I don't know what type of writing mood i'm in just yet, so it could get long. : ) At least you got the warning now.

So THREE fridays ago it all began with the flies in the apartment. I blogged about this a little while back. This was followed by a couple of days of 'finishing them off'. So the fly epidemic stepped out of the way, and in came the 'giant' centipedes. Luckily, this only lasted a few days. So this is where I last talked about the bugish plague.

So two Thursdays ago I was cleaning my bedroom - which is soon going to be my new excercise room (sweet). I decided to start by putting on the second door to my wardrobe. My double bed blocked the door, so putting it on its hinges was of no use. so I'm all about being productive that night. Yay. I'm feeling inspired, good music is playing in the background, cleaning supplies are out. I move all the boxes away from the wardrobe and start to work, sitting on the floor.

Suddenly, I notice a faint, but perculiar smell. Confused, I look underneath of my wardrobe - as part of my investigation to finding the cause of the smell. Nothing there. Funny though, cause it appears as though the rug has been scuffed up. I climb over my plethera of junk to find my flashlight and check out the rug situation a little better. With the assistance of the extra light, it still appears to be a scuff on the rug. I go to the side of the wardrobe and look from another angle.

EW.

It looks like a dead mouse. I don't have mice!!!! I mean, there must be squirrels living between my ceiling and Leslie's floor (she's my landlord) but NEVER anything in my apartment. I have lived here for two years now, and this is the first time I've encountered a mouse. Although, about three days after Aucky passed away it did sound like something was scratching behind my tv one night. When I went to investigate, I found nothing. However, mice move like lightning when they need to.

Aight. So, I'm getting used to the fact at this point that my apartment is breeding problems. I put on one of my grip gloves and invert a plastic bag. Slowly, with the flashlight shining underneath and my arm going around the side, I pick up the dead mouse. I take a quick look at it before wrapping it up. Lucky me, two maggots are crawling all over him. So who knows how long this little guy has been under this wardrobe for.

I pack him up good in this plastic bag and dump his body into my kitchen garbage can. Then I continue to roll a can of intense bug killing substance underneath of my wardrobe and spray the crap out of the area. There is NO WAY that maggots are going to survive in this household.

Happy that this problem is over, I continue to work on my wardrobe door. I will toss the garbage outside in the morning and it will all be done with. Yay.

So friday morning comes around. I'm on the early shift on Fridays so that I can make it out to my softball games. That Friday (not this past one, but the week before) I woke up late (for me). Meaning really that I had to hop up and get ready and jet out the door. Kinda like University all over again.

I forgot to put out my garbage. The thought crosses my head as I'm driving down Avenue Road. Pshaw...nothing to worry about.

Softball comes and goes (the game we lost by like 20 points). Had a great night, great drives home, everything is making me smile and I walk into my apartment. The first thing I do now is listen for flying sounds. Nothing. Score - the fly problem must really be done.

Walk into my kitchen (is this starting to sound familiar with the kitchen adventures much)...

Oh my goodness, what the hell is on my floor?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Standing there looking at what appears to be a box of oats dropped onto the floor…scattered loosely. I was like ‘crap, do I have another mouse in the place that ransacked food???’. It didn’t make sense. I keep my food in the most impossible access areas - shelved drilled way high on the walls, with no route to get to them. Or the food is in the ‘storage’ shelves – same story. Or in the fridge (good luck little mousey). So none of this made sense...

I was worried. I decided now is a good time to crouch down and inspect the problem.

TIME OUT

Okay - in comes my disclaimer....

Disclaimer: Now, before I explain further – let me rest all the readers who don’t know me assured – I am not a filthy person in the least. Yes, I have piles of paperwork – but I do not hide food or anything like that…I’m not that type of gross AT ALL. Please be informed that I do not live in a pig-sty, and that this apartment like plague is a first time experience and has never happened to me before. Do not hold any of the situations that I have had to live through against me. :) I can be sensitive about silly things like that. Thank you for your understanding.

OKAY - quick recap of the series of unfortunate events. First the flies. Then the flies…and a bit more of the flies. Then the giant centipedes started surfacing again, along with them the giant ants. Then the dead mouse. Then my own idiocy.

It was late at night when I was dealing with the dead mouse. So I put him in a plastic bag and put that in the trash can in my kitchen.

No, I was not smart enough to bring it outside.

Yes, I learned my lesson.

I got home – smiled cause there were no flies. Walked into the kitchen and froze.

I crouch down.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

OMG – it was a mine field of maggots. I am telling you that I have NEVER had to deal with such grossness in my life.

Lucky for me, I'm not a squimish girl. I had to shut down my brain as I began the painful process of the clean up. Remember, this is at least 1:00am.

I tiptoed into the bathroom and began manually picking them up one by one and piling them into a plastic bag. One by one, aided only by a strong heart and some toilet paper. Through the bathroom, in the kitchen, hidding under everything. Trust me, I couldn't explain the problem. I kicked my kitchen garbage can into the middle of the kitchen as I plucked underneath of it for more maggots. Once the whole floor was clear of the squirmy little worms, I looked at my garbage can. As I stood there, very still, you could hear the bag moving. I had no idea how I was going to put this garbage bag into a new one to toss out. I grabbed my Swiffer mop and step it down onto my garbage pedal. Part two of gross. I used the swiffer to kick in the edges of the bag and tuck it in, as maggots were crawling in little pockets that they would find. Then without thinking twice I grabbed it and put that bag into a new garbage bag.

Then I TOSSED IT OUTSIDE.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

I finished at like 3 o'clock in the morning. Considering, the problems I had been dealing with, I was cheerful. I am blessed to not be fully creeped out by this in a squirmish way. Ugh ugh ugh.

Oh my goodness, can I tell you that I am sooooo done living here.

SOOOOO, you would think that would be the end of my apartment wooes.

Nope.

I'll tell you about the better part of that weekend in a bit.

First off - let me tell you that this past week I was FOOLED into thinking that my apartment would be okay when I got home from Softball. It seems to be on Fridays when the fun stuff happens. Lucky me. I was even telling some friends the whole plague story on the way home, and since my week was almost completely bugless (outside of the normal little basement critters), I thought it would be smooth sailings.

I got home, and walked into my kitchen two nights ago - around 2 o'clock in the morning. What do i find but a mini field of mini flies. House flies that were just babies basically. There were like 20 of them sittin on the floor and on my stinking dishes. So, I spent some time that night swatting them all dead. Lucky for me they were slow and easy kills.

I think (knock on wood) that is it.

Gross eh? And yes, my dear friend Jamie Campbell, I think I might just be experiencing an 'Amittyville Horror' moment.

The end of the plague? Or is it....

Saturday, July 29, 2006

brokeback


I can't get enough of these spoofs...they are soooo funny.

There is a series of Brokeback Mountain spoofs using movies/cartoons that we all know. My friend James has the collection on his blog and I started watching them. Oh my goodness, too funny.

Anyway - check them out. Even if you haven't seen the real film yet, I think you'll still be able to appreciate this series of spoofs.

Ah 'you tube' - what will you bring us next.

On a side note - this picture is for John Sinclair. After softball last night we were talking about how LEGO isn't really LEGO anymore. It's lost it's creativity element in terms of the child. Now a days all you can buy are commercialized LEGO constructions. Example - "Pirates of the Carribean" LEGO collection, "Star Wars" LEGO collection - ** collect them all **. It's very fancy and all - but what ever happened to that box of colourful plain pieces that allowed children to build their own version of a pirate ship or a house. I loved LEGO as a child. My brother and I were members of the LEGO club for one year I think. Maybe two. You could spend days lost in this world that you create with these tiny interconnecting blocks. Things have definitely changed with childrens' toys since then. Anyway - I laughed when I saw this play on the lego collection with the 'Brokeback Mountain' installment.






Thursday, July 27, 2006

heavy



My heart feels absolutely heavy right now.

It's like a see-saw of emotions that I can't quite sit with. I don't know how to appreciate them (the good & the bad) to their full extent.

I just wish I knew what to do.

Prayers have been answered - and for this I owe everything to God. I almost fell out of my chair when I read this one email from my parents this week - a long standing prayer of mine had been answered and I thought I was going to cry at work. I was so relieved, and it's that mix of emotions between complete happiness and incredible awe of God's power and then complete surrender, as I am so weak in dealing with this situation. At the same time, admitting your weakness is a very empowering thing. All I wanted to do was call my parents - and I couldn't until tonight.

And I just cried. And it was so nice to have my mom on the phone to comfort me.

Prayer is all that can dig me out of this one and point me in the right direction. Prayer is so amazingly powerful. God is so amazingly awesome - and I'm so happy that He is walking with me through this moment, and through this life.

To all of those who have been amazing supports in my life - know how much I love each and every one of you - and how incredible you truly are!!!

I had a blessed moment today - Sarah was on MSN and I was able to talk to her for a short little while. She is absolutely having an incredible time. She is in Nairobi right now working at creating a youth program within the UN. Such an amazing opportunity for her. It's so wonderful when you see people who have found their true callings in life - and this opportunity is just perfect for her. This is where technology is amazing - to know that you can communicate even though you are half way around the world.

Just a note to say she is well. I miss her bunches - she is an amazing light in a lot of our lives.

Tomorrow is Friday. I look forward to the weekend.

Mom & Dad - thank you for the phone call. hugs from the Tdot.

get some organizing done then some sleepy sleeps. I have to be at the office at 7am for the NEW Xerox machine (finally!!!).

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

bypass

I might just skip over my weekend's events for now. So much to say, but no time to really say it.

None the less, welcome to my day.




Driving. I think I've become desensitized to the idea of being hit by another car in this city. Probably because I'm on the road so much with my job. The other reason being that enough people in the day almost sideswipe you (sadly, i would say because they are not paying attention or not remembering that other people are on the road with them) and then so many people pull the stupidest stunts on the road that you just expect it to happen. Scary reality. I feel that I have become a calmer driver when it comes to this city because of this reality. A price to pay for driving in a large city like this day in and day out.

I love taking the long way home. Bypassing the inner city traffic. The city looks so crisp at 8 o'clock at night from the Gardiner. Rush hour traffic has subsided by this time (at least those heading North East).

It's just nice. Toronto is beautiful in its own way. I am finding so much time to appreciate this city as I get ready to leave it. This might work against my plans to live in BC. I might end up missing Toronto too much. :p

EMAIL - I got an email today from Active New Zealand. I am FULLY focusing on this trip in September. How much money do you really need to leave on an adventure?

I pray for a new job right after "Naturally, Sadie" so that I can afford to leave sooner rather than later. *sigh*



thE otheR daY

1. I saw a transport truck break so hard that his hood popped open. Do not fret, it was an early Sunday morning - so there wasn't a lot of traffic...

2. I opened my apartment door to find 8 squirrels surrounding me. They definitely were blocking my path in every direction. They did not move. They have no fear. I did say "creepy" aloud. Cause it was. This was a singular occurance.

3. My second Skydiving video came in the mail. It also has a glitch. Sad. So we try again.

4. I survived my apartment's plague (more on this to come).


5. I started having problems posting pictures on my blog. : ( And it continues (aside from the random allowance of today's picture).

I smiled a lot today. No particular reason.
This weekend gave me many smiles.



I wish I could save up my smiles and bring them out when I lack the motivation to produce my own.

i'm walking away. i am going to try to put together my Gazelle Edge tonight.

step. step. step.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

caution


The sirens were coming from all around.

I looked to the other driver. Neither of us know where they would pop up.

One appeared on the left flying down Davenport. Suddenly, I got buzzed from behind.

Thank goodness our light was green.



I got called in early to work today. The other PA had called in sick - and I still wish Shannon had called me earlier so that I could have helped her out more. None the less, by 9am I was out the door trying to get to our studio/office. What appeared to be your typical yucky traffic slowly cleared to show two separate construction spots blocking parts of Avenue road. Lucky for me it was affecting us all the way up to Chaplin. (note the sarcasm). It felt like the world didn't want me to be at work today.

Dupont was near, and all I could think about was booting it down that street to Bathurst. There is never traffic on this part of the street at this time in the morning.

So I hit up some Dupont St. action. There is construction on the two eastbound lanes, so it's simply the one westbound. Beautiful. :)

I get to the intersection of Dupont & Davenport and pull out into the second lane and wait patiently at the red light. In the not too far distance you could see an ambulance blocking two lanes of traffic (the now 'non-construction' eastbound lanes). Curious. The sirens were flashing - so you just imagined that it must have been something to do with the person living in the house that the vehicle was parked in front of.

Then the sirens started going. You honestly didn't know where they were coming from - cause it was every other direction. It's that terrible moment where you just want to be out of the way, but inevitably become a blocking point for an emergency vehicle. One cop car zipped by us from the south heading west and then the one behind us snuck up very quickly. All you can do is get the frick out of their way. I ended up half on the sidewalk and crosswalk on the intersection, while the guy behind me almost sunk his car into the construction pit (through the plastic yellow fence).

We all crawled up to where the emergency vehicles had stopped, trying to get out of their way and on with our own day.

A pedestrian had been struck by a vehicle at the crosswalk. It looked terrible. There was one woman who was being consoled by another trying to bring her away from the situation (either a witness of the event or a friend of the victim). The woman who had been struck, lay down with three paramedic/firefighter members. Her neck was already braced and they were about to lay her onto the stretcher. She was moving her arm slightly, so that is a positive thing.

This very elongated story to highlight something that bothers me terribly in this city.

The way we treat pedestrian crossings.

Since I didn't witness the event, I do not know what happened or who is to blame. No matter what, the driver of the vehicle becomes the accused as their vehicle was the cause of the injury and sometimes worse. This is unfortunately how it goes most of the time, despite the fact that there are a lot of careless pedestrians. It becomes a battle of who had the right of way - and in this situation, the pedestrian definitely did, as it occured right at the crosswalk.

I look at this in two ways. We all suck at driving - and we all suck at being pedestrians. I have seen time and time again, cars zipping around others at or near crosswalks. Impatient drivers that want to get ahead of the pack. Unfortunately, with this attitude, I've seen many pedestrians almost get hit by ravaged drivers. Something has to be done to stop the agravated driving that is happening in our streets. We're talking about zones that should not exceed 50 km/hr - especially in the summer. Yes, i'm guilty of stepping on the gas, but when you approach those crosswalks with the blinking yellow lights - I always approach those with a different attitude. You have to. It's not worth that extra second to get ahead of one more car, only to be braking behind another. If someone is braking at a crosswalk - it's probably for the most logical reason - a pedestrian might be crossing.

On the flip side - there are too many unaware pedestrians. Those crosswalks are there to protect you - they are not the 'go ahead' to just step out onto the curb and walk underneath the yellow 'x' signs. This is not a guaranteed protection plan. Too many times, I see pedestrians just jump down onto the street and start to cross. They don't push the button, they don't indicate in any way that they are about to leap in front of your car. It is very scary. PLEASE take the time to make sure that the drivers see that you are crossing. It's a mutual responsibility here.

When I got to work I found out that one of the women in the art department (Michaela) was rear ended yesterday. When I finally caught a glimpse of her on the 3rd floor I wanted to find out if she was okay. She was experiencing neck cramps but thinks she will be okay. She was rear ended by a taxi cab at a crosswalk when she stopped for a pedestrian. Luckily, the pedestrian had already cleared her car when she was struck. Othewise, who knows what would have happened. She was stopped, and he hit her at around 50kms or more per hour. That pedestrian would have suffered greatly. It is so scary.

I pray that this one woman is okay and is able to walk away with at most, minor injuries.

Let this please be a caution to how we are as pedestrians and drivers. We definitely need to work together to make the roads safer.

Honestly, doctor, I’m symptomatic!

Had a doctor’s appointment today. Good ol’ physical (yay).

I’m one of those strange people who LIKE going to the doctors/dentists – cause I like knowing that everything is okay.

Over the past two years – things have not been okay with me. I’ve been tracking a medical problem that has quite significantly been progressing through some lovely stages of existence. No one can seem to help me – or even really care to be bothered by description of symptoms. Unless you are showing signs, nothing can be done for you a lot of the time. Our health care system – as much as it can be wonderful – it can be ever so frustrating too. Ugh.

Anyway. Early this morning (like 2am) – I found myself feeling off. Kind of ill. I felt something coming on and it was progressing quickly. It didn’t really don on me that it could benefit me at the doctor’s today. But here I was, for the first time, showing physical symptoms.

It seems that very little can be done for a patient if their symptoms are not in full bloom. And Lord knows that when you wake up with a problem, chances of getting a last minute doctor’s appointment are slim. Sometimes tests can show the world all the problems – when the little cellular malfunctions can be found in all their glory; other times, seeing means everything – cause then you can assess what tests need to be done.

You know, I’ve been praying heavily about this situation and today was most definitely a small step in the answer to my prayers. As much as I wanted to cry during the testing phase because of a multitude of emotions (pain being number one, and overwhelming relief that this is the beginning of the end) I was smiling and laughing.

FINALLY!!!!

That’s all that I can say. Anyway. I am so very happy with my family doctor right now. She is new to me. I had problems with my last one – so I changed. And I was actually supposed to be visiting the other doctor that works in this office, but that doctor had left early and nobody notified me. So this doctor said that she would sit in and have the ‘initial patient consultation’ that you have to work through before joining a family doctor. Anyway – this doctor is so busy, she wasn’t accepting new patients…but after sitting through with me for 20mins or so, she didn’t want to make sure she saw my health concerns to the end. It just makes me happy – because she honestly does care. She is fantastic.

In six weeks, we should have that test results back – and I’m PRAYING that it comes back negative (if you pray, I would appreciate if you might keep me in your prayers through this time – thank you very much in advance). If this one is a flop, then my doctor has two other possible directions to go with the situation. Which is AMAZING. Just knowing that the wheel has been set into motion is so very encouraging. May God’s wisdom shine through these medical practitioners as they decipher my body’s ailments.

---

My big toe hurts. Well, it’s kind of a little toe, but the biggest one of my right foot. Apparently I have arthritis in my toe. : ( It has been hurting on and off for a long time (months) – and I may have actually broken it back in the day. Problem being that toe’s are the hardest thing to help out in that situation. Anyway, the doctor was playing with it today and now it really hurts. Ugh. : p If you know of any ways to tend to a messed up toe, please feel free to post some advice.

---

I weighed 98lbs this morning. One day, I’ll sigh at that number in a nostalgic sort of way. Right now I am trying to figure out how to raise that number to a healthier sounding one. Sadly, even when I eat more – I don’t gain the weight in places where I need it. I’d like to clear up that I do NOT have an eating disorder. I’m just small. None the less, it would be nice to look ‘healthier’ (aka – not so thin).

What does ‘looking healthier’ even mean?

---

North Bay is cleaning up. Sadly there were a few deaths reported from the storm. A camper trailer was crushed by a tree in a park and a woman (who was inside) was killed. Another camper in a tent has been killed due to a fallen tree. And I believe there may have been other reported deaths. Storm ‘assessors’ are still in the area trying to figure out what exactly happened around the area. My dad thinks that many micro-bursts may have occurred in the city, but there is definite evidence that tornadoes struck the townships around the city. It’s so sad to hear about it. I just want to drive home and see the damage for myself. Crews are working around the clock trying to restore power to all the areas – but many are still running off of generators (if they are lucky to even have that). The small towns are going to have to start sending their hospital patients to North Bay, because they won’t be able to run 100% off the generators for too much longer.

We are sadly not getting any coverage. And why would these small towns mean anything to Toronto? : ( It’s actually quite sad. Thank goodness for the weather network and our hometown newspaper being online (www.nugget.ca).

States of emergency have been declared by several smaller towns. They do not have the resources to re-establish themselves. This has opened the door for the provincial government to become involved in rebuilding these towns.

---

These past few days have been good.

There’s one thing that has been bothering me though – how ‘busy’ it’s been. I just feel that I haven’t had any time to just sit and be in my apartment (well, clean it – yes it is a long process when you are only able to work on it between midnight and 3am). I just want to exist and breathe. You know when you get like that? I have many projects coming up and I feel so overwhelmed by life. There is so much to think about and so much to do – and I feel that all of a sudden, July is almost gone.

gulp.

You see, I look at things differently. Everything to me is like ‘this is the last summer in Toronto’ or this is my last July in Toronto…and I think it’s an overwhelming thought.

When you leave on travels, generally you return to your ‘home base’. That’s where I differ. I’m not planning on returning to this city – so it’s a bigger ‘good-bye’ I feel. Maybe it isn’t. And we really should treat every day as though it could be our last – cause you never know.

“Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die today.” I think James Dean said that. And it’s so true.

I just want to breathe. I just want to enjoy.

---

Smiling none the less.

1) Drawing comics for the SIDES (shrunken down version of the call sheet as well as the script that plays on the day) package every night. I’m happy that it makes the AD smile.

2) Wine gums. (terribly addicted)

3) Having a job – and knowing that this is a wonderful provision. It makes my job easier every day. I can’t help but smile about how blessed I am.

4) Hudson. He lied down in the middle of the hallway that branches off towards the kitchen/copier room. But by lying down – I mean block the entire thing.

5) Summer in the city. Slushees just down the street (so refreshing, but man does your stomach ever hate you afterwards).

6) Driving on the highway with good mixed CDs playing.

7) www.cuteoverload.com

8) Looking at buying a new ‘yearly calendar’. When I was at Staples to pick up supplies for the office, I noticed the NEW yearly calendar from the brand I used last year (and I actually used it religiously). I was going through the pages and realized I will be leaving within this book. And THAT made me so excited and happy. I’m so ready to be traveling in those wonderful havens of the world.

---

I might be craving Captain Crunch cereal. It’s time to drink some apple juice and eat my daily dose of almonds. : )

good night.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

The aftermath...

Storm slams city, outlying areas
Mattawa, Callander declare state of emergency

Nugget Staff Local News - Tuesday, July 18, 2006 @ 08:00


A series of possible tornadoes swept across Northeastern Ontario Monday, cutting a swath of destruction leaving up to 75,000 homes without power, closing roads and highways.

The violent storm struck at about 5:30 p.m. with the wind speed reaching up to 80 kilometres per hour before the wind dial at Jack Garland Airport in North Bay snapped.

A pilot told The Nugget the wind was closer to 189 km/h as the storm peaked, bringing down trees, power lines, overturning airplanes and tearing the walls and roofs off homes and buildings from West Nipissing to Mattawa.

North Bay officials put the citys emergency plan in place setting up operations at North Bay Police Service headquarters.

Ive heard reports of a tornado, but didnt see anything here. My visibility was down to an eighth of a mile and I couldnt see past the ramp, said Mike Warren, station manager of the weather observing station at the airport.

The impact across the region was reminiscent of the August 2003 provincewide blackout.

Although no serious injuries were reported, damage in Callander led Mayor Bill Brazeau to declare a state of emergency after touring the municipality 12 kilometres south of North Bay. Mattawa also declared a state of emergency.

Mattawa resident Dan Levesque was driving on the highway with his wife and children. The rain and wind were so powerful, Levesque pulled over to seek refuge near a rock-cut.

I had never felt the wind so strong, he said. My kids were screaming. They were literally terrified. It was pretty scary. Other people were pulled over too.

In North Bay, 20,000 homes were without power after the storm hit. By 11:30 p.m. power was restored to about 7,000 homes. Crews were working street by street locating downed lines and ones damaged by trees.

Ive never seen damage like this in 33 years on the job, said Jim Snider, general manager of North Bay Hydro.

Snider said some city residents could be without power until this evening.

The areas around the city also received extensive damage to hydro distribution infrastructure.

About 55,000 homes were without power at 9 p.m., a spokeswoman for Hydro One said.

The distribution system in the Northeast is extensively damaged. Homes could be without power for up to 72 hours, said Enza Cancilla. The damage runs from Kirkland Lake through Temiskaming Shores, as far south as Georgian Bay, she said.

It was black across the city as night fell, with only a handful of stories open, including the A&P on Lakeshore Drive.

People were lined up for candles, flashlights and water, said Bernie Houle, assistant manager.

Its never been this busy on a Monday, not even before Christmas . . . its been crazy since about 7:30 p.m., he said.

-------------------

End story published in the North Bay Nugget.

So, it seems that North Bay was sparred of tornado touch downs - however, they are still waiting to hear from 'storm experts' who have to go through and assess the damages. Unfortunately, surrounding areas were not so lucky. Seeing images of North Bay was weird last night on the Weather Network. I can't imagine the smaller towns that are not getting local coverage. The strangest places were reporting tornados last night - including Kirkland Lake (where I was born). This seems so surreal. It's very unfortunate to hear of the damage - but as of yet - no serious injuries/deaths have been reported - throughout Northern Ontario.

Thank God.

It came and went.

First off, let me tell you how much I fear tornadoes. I am one who is completely fascinated by the world around me – and trust me, if a funnel cloud formed nearby, I would definitely be tempted to observe it. None the less, when I was a child, I would scare myself silly with this one National Geographic magazine that showcased tornados. It just freaked me out that this type of power existed.

I never had to worry because I lived in this little town called Earlton, Ontario (on many maps because it had an airport!). Tornadoes never happened up there.

Funny enough. Not too long after our family moved away, to North Bay, a giant tornado struck this very small town.

Freaky – coincidence? I was a very happy 8 year old…because I wasn’t there.

So then we lived in North Bay. Another safe city, no tornadoes. Never had to think about it. But then again, we did have very strange weather patterns. North Bay has two very large lakes around it (Lake Nippissing and Trout Lake) as well as smaller lakes and a lot of swampy marshes. It was a very humid city. And you would catch some pretty stellar thunderstorms. I remember when I first heard about waterspouts appearing near Callandar, I was getting worried about how far the weather could go.

Tonight, I guess the city saw its match. But what exactly happened???

Hard phone call to get. “Mom & Dad Home” appears on my cell phone. That made me smile, because the day before I got an email from them saying that their phone line was dead and internet down (I really do not like Bell in the least.). They had been up to Earlton to visit the Finnertys over the weekend, to help out as Finn continues to recover from hip surgery. When they got home, both phone & net were caput, so the neighbours let them use both services at their house (thanks Mr & Ms Brooks).

I was hoping that this phone call meant their phones were back up and running. I answer. After a cheary hello from my mother, she continued to say ‘I called to let you know that we’re okay’.

What does that mean??? I mean, I got the email letting me know that their trip back from Earlton was good and that they would call me when the phone was back up. So I was confused by this comment.

Then the news about the storm that hit the city.

North Bay was struck by a severe storm front…eyewitnesses from Sturgeon Falls to Callandar claim that tornadoes touched down all around…but they have to wait to confirm all these reports. None the less, when I finally got home around midnight tonight – I turned on the weather network to find out more about what went on. (A side note – a few years back we lost our North Bay feed of MCTV, and the main office became the one in Sudbury…that being said, NB is barely featured on our now only Northern Ontario newscast – so there isn’t a constant coverage of this storm right now.) Anyway, it looks like the city got ransacked. At first glance, many many trees have been uprooted. A lot of things went airbourne. The float planes along Trout Lake have been capsized and many have been overturned onto the beaches. Powerlines and poles are down, damaged buildings, cracked trees. In Callandar, just outside of North Bay, many eyewitnesses claim to have seen tornadoes touch down. The little lighthouse along the waterfront may be missing (it has been destroyed, but the ‘carcass’ cannot be found yet). Roads have been damaged. Many areas have been completely blocked off by uprooted trees and mass destruction. I know for sure 90% of the city was without power (which honestly sucks – because their humidex is also in the 40s (mid-high 40s)). This could be very bad if tomorrow’s weather keeps the city in a heat alert – as many older people might not fair well without air conditioning/fans…any cooling methods.

Unfortunately, the city’s homepage is down – and their newspaper hasn’t posted anything yet about the storm. So it’s a waiting game to see what the real damage is in the city, but more so in the surrounding areas. What roads have been washed away by flash flooding. What towns had the tornadoes. Is everyone okay.

It’s kind of scary. I don’t know much yet about if people have been hurt or killed (less of a concern for North Bay, more so for the small towns around that were hit harder) – but I’ll keep you posted as more information becomes available. There are just some parts of the world where you expect certain types of weather – but other places, it almost becomes a shock. Just a simple tornado warning posting I saw on the homepage of ‘The Nugget’ (NB’s newspaper), threw me off.

My prayers go out to a great majority of Northern Ontario. Severe weather struck many cities/towns in the northern part of this province – all suddenly – all very destructive. I just pray that everyone is okay and that once the clean up is underway, they discover that the damage is less than expected.


Meanwhile in Toronto…

We were sitting at ‘Future’s Bakery’ talking about Cyril’s music video when I mentioned the storm that hit North Bay. About 20 mins after this conversation, strong winds started gusting around us (we were on the patio). Then lightning and then the rain came down. But the wind was very strong and passed through very quickly. It was creepy – because all I could think about was the sudden storm that hit North Bay in an intensity that wasn’t expected.

Luckily, our city saw diddly squat compared to the rest of the province.

It came, it went, it’s done for now.

On my drive home, I drove by several sites where large parts of trees had come down and are now sitting across the entire street. Craziness.



Life none the less…

The weekend was great. More flies had to die. But I am VERY HAPPY to say that I finally came home to a fly-less apartment tonight. I’m hoping it was a random phase.

BUT – the bug stories don’t just end cause the flies are gone. No no. God was nice to me and put the fly plague aside because he had a fun little one waiting for me in my bathroom. I was about to take out my contacts when I took notice of something in my peripheral vision. A dark spot along side the upper wall near my shower.

Oh my goodness, I thought I had met the largest centipede ever when I initially moved into this apartment. I was wrong. I met him tonight. This guy was like the King Kong of centipedes. I let him know I was not happy about his presence and proceeded to squish him with a very thick paper towel (folded over more than once…grossness). In tow was a small little centipede baby crawling along the ceiling.

Anyway – that was gross. But I was very happy I didn’t have to deal with that AND the flies.

Back to the weekend. Did some errands on Saturday morning. At about 4pm, I met up with some gals from Freedomize to check out Jen McN’s play “Primal Broads” at the Circus Festival in the Distillery. It was a great show. This girl belongs on stage. : )

It was great to meet and get to know these girls too – some of which I had never had the opportunity to meet before. We chilled out at the festival for a while afterwards and caught glimpses of other skits happening in the open.

At night we checked out ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ at Rainbow Cinemas. That was fun. I have yet to see the first one – but this one was fantastic. A lot of laugh out loud moments and fun story.

Fun aside. Mags had to work on Saturday (that’s not the fun part). They were shooting at Cherry and Mill Street – which is just north of the Distillery. So I was able to chat with her for a bit as I walked by. : p

Sunday was lovely. Had a wonderful brunch with Erin & Kristy at their Don Mills/ Eglinton apartment. So fun to be with these lovely ladies again. Haven’t seen them since their Christmas party. We just chatted and caught up. Enjoyed a moment on their balcony (they really have a great view of the downtown core – distant, but clear) and ate yummy food.

Sunday evening spent my time at Freedomize. It was a great worship set and a great sermon. It was a much needed boost for the upcoming week.

Hung out at the end of the service chatting about the possibility of a “Women’s ministry” starting up in Freedomize. Said some hellos & goodbye’s to people and then by 8pm, I was en route back to my car. I parked in a new lot this time. As I was leaving my car, I was texting myself all the directions (as it was through the underground Concourse – ugh) all so that I wouldn’t lose my car. : ) And it worked. Yay.

Note to self – NO MORE texting myself and NOT being aware of my surroundings. Some of you think that I will now talk about how I almost walked into a wall. No no…another creepy man story. I was walking through the concourse (which was deserted at the time) and typing with my phone’s ‘smart type’ option. Anyway – I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going – in terms of meeting up with other people. This guy suddenly popped out of a corner of a stairwell staring at me and walking quickly towards me. Something he did caught my attention and I noticed that he was fixed on me and there was NO ONE around me – and I mean like no one within hearing distance either. So I put my phone down and just quickly tried to create distance and walk diagonally away. He followed me for a bit until I reached the doorway and then booted it up the stairs. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs but was looking up at me. I actually looked back to make sure I wasn’t followed anymore.

Creepy much? I mean, I am very aware of my surroundings, but at the same time naïve in the sense that I HOPE that nothing bad actually happens to myself or anyone I know for that matter. Or anyone in general. Moments like that are scary – and shouldn’t happen to people.



Aight – let’s try to end on a high note.

Fun times. Laughing – a lot this weekend. The ‘cuts of beef’ poster on our production office door. Mutual ‘wees’ from Kim and myself as the car drove over a bump. Chilling with new friends. Car rides and new stories. A photocopier that didn’t jam on me at all today. A great sermon. Catching up. A new puppy at our production office.

Props to: Ms. Sue – who is kindly going to help me redesign my softball shirt. Ms. Lisa’s idea about putting names on the back – good ol’ Kensington.

There is so much more to even think of saying – but I’m drawing blanks. Today alone I felt I hit every emotional level a human could. From ultimate happy moments to feeling scared, to pure sadness. What a funny day. Must be because I’m a woman. But it doesn’t feel like the best reason right now.

Oh well.

Oh yeah – shout out to my sister and her hubby, the B-man. I got home to a pile of bills, and then a card from my sister. It was a ‘thinking of you’ card – that she sent to me to let me know they are keeping me in their thoughts, since hearing about Aucky’s passing. Sadly, they have both had a loss with their own pets. One of my sister’s bunny’s (Kyra) passed away a while ago. It feels like that death was sudden. Also, Brian sadly lost one of his ferrets from an illness as well. Correct me if I’m wrong – but I think it was cancer. I don’t remember the name of the one that passed away (it was either Theo or Arthur). Thank you guys – it was a nice smile when I got home. : )


Life’s funny. None the less, we have to enjoy the time that we have been provided with. It would be a shame to let this life go to waste.

So smile as often as you can. Cry when you need to – but try to see the rainbows through the storm. Enjoy the moments you experience – they will be the things you remember years from now. They will be the things that could bring a smile to your face in the future. That smile could be seen by a stranger passing by and make them smile. It could be a smile that spreads through the nation.

You owe that smile to that stranger.

I love it when I walk by people who randomly get caught in a smiling moment – and you know it’s something they were thinking about. You can see the shift in their face. It’s fun.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Overun

SO - i get home at like 11.30pm tonight. Softball was fun - there were only 7 of us. :p At one point, I was the only one covering the outfield - I was drained of energy very quickly. When you're running around that much. It was great fun though.

I'll be calling people through this upcoming week - and hopefully we'll have a real game next Friday. If you're one of those people - be prepared for a phone call. :)

All in all, none the less, it was enjoyable.

I am officially #3 for the Blue team - Second base. Kickin'. That excites me.

Jamie J - have I told you lately that you ROCK!!! I spoke to him on Sunday and the whole discussion about the softball t-shirts came up and when he mentioned the fact that we'd be getting numbers on them - he asked if I had a favorite number that he could get put on. I said "5". Lo & behold, both colours had a number 5. Sadly they were 'Large' so I couldn't fit into it - but I TRULY appreciate the effort. Thank you Mr. Jefferson. Sadly - he is leaving for Africa at 9am on Saturday - that being today. So he's actually going to be missing the entire season. Bummer.

So I nabbed #3. It's a medium - so I'm thinking I have to be creative and shrink it down to my size. i have a plan.

We headed out to a pub post game to chill out, enjoy company and watch the Jays' game. We actually have a good team this year. Might be going to a game next week with my grandparents who might be coming through Toronto. Would be cool. They are very big NY Yankee fans - so my brother and I have to represent and preserve the home town pride. :o)


So - i walk into my apartment tonight. Turn on the lights and all I hear is buzzing. Dang it - a couple of flies must have flown in when I opened the door. So I start tracking them down. Walk into my kitchen, and suddenly 14 cluster flies zip in all directions. OMG - what is going on??? I have NO idea what happened. I left my apartment in mint condition - and come home to like 16 unwelcomed guests. I think my landlady might be having problems with these types of flies.

So I spent the first half hour of my night at home tracking down flies and swatting them down with a flexible ikea star shaped ice cube tray - then individually ensuring that they no longer had the possibility of existing. They were mutant flies. I sent one down the bathroom sink with a mad rush of running water - and he CLIMBED OUT. Sickning.

Anyway - I think there's still one floating around. I hope so at least, i feel like there is a constant buzzing in my ear. If one more remains - at least I can explain the buzzing.

I swear - I have never had so many random bug problems in this apartment or in life. And cluster flies are the worst. You hear them ALL around you - but they aren't always the easiest things to spot. I have a dark apartment too - so that totally doesn't help.

Yup - that's my life. Fun, eh?

Work was great. Had a banana popsicle today. We were slightly twiddling our thumbs for a fraction of the day - but we paid for it in the end when all of the next episode's paperwork came out. Crazinesses. Many times today I would look over my shoulder and let the office posse know how much I appreciated working with them. This really is a fun show. If you are a frequent reader of this blog - please mind my repetitive nature. :)

Yours truly, me.

I wanted to go rollerblading at like 6.30 tomorrow morning - but i have a really tight schedule this weekend - so I think i'm axing that one until next Saturday. Boourns.

Aight - i'm out. Have to shower out the softball in me. Must get set for the big day tomorrow.

It's going to be a beautiful weekend in Toronto.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Am I a winner?

Congratulations, Alison!

So I get this letter in the mail today. I actually bought a Heart & Stroke Foundation lottery ticket this year. Yes, I am a nerd. I actually support this cause though - so I felt good. My grandfather has had two open heart surgeries with some of the finest doctors in Ottawa. Everyone has been touched by family suffering from a form of heart disease, so I feel it's a valuable cause to support.

So anyway - the lottery tickets cost $100.00 each. Not terrible - and since i'm feeling oh so rich because I'm working - I splurged and grabbed me one. Number 238229.

Okay - so secretely I probably wouldn't have minded winning one of the grand prizes - but I also don't believe that's how my story will go.

ANYWAY - this letter comes in the mail today - and lo & behold, I won one of the many $100.00 prizes.

Hmmmmm

So, does this negate my donation all together?

I broke even...but when it comes to 'donations' - does that make me a winner?

So i'm confused. I smile because I've won - but feel terrible because it's money that I tried to put into the foundation in the beginning. I could always just put the money back into the H&S foundation...

...or contribute to another hospital lottery.

:p

Thursday, July 13, 2006

a little hello from above


After my day on the road, I take back what I said about the drivers in Toronto. I think I was driving along side all of those who have flunked out of the multitude of car driving schools in this city. I think driving in a big city will forever test your patience - which in the end can be a very good thing. But there are just some days where you do NOT want to be around all these people. Ugh ugh ugh.

I had a great drive home. Took the long way around to spend some time pondering in the car and blasting some ever so addicted music (I must admit that Tool's Aenima is still in my car's CD player). It was nice with the city standing as a backdrop as the sky was shifting to a pinkish hue. Coming up the Bayview extension I had a beautiful view of the clouds over the sun, with mounds of God rays spewing into the sky. It was a much needed moment.

I love looking at the sky...as you will notice the more I comment on the clouds and views I hold dear. Clouds are so fascinating.

VENT SESSION - Frustrating moment. The ongoing sagas with TS. I feel like I've written the same email 5 times, and nobody is actually listening to what I'm saying. UGH - for real. I am frustrated to no end with what seems to be happening. Sometimes I feel completely overlooked and underappreciated. Then when it's convenient for others - there is a tone that appears out of nowhere that is trying to get something out of you. This is NOT what I experience on every project - at the moment, I'm only speaking of TS. The positive - it's almost over. A very sad way of looking at things...


Naturally, Sadie is a blessing right now. I am so fortunate to be working with this office staff. Thank you God for this time!!! It was much needed and GREATLY appreciated!!!



Happy times:

1) Luz & Anna from accounting ROCK. They hit up 7-11 and bought some frozen goodies. Scored me a super fudgesicle.
2) Stopping off on set twice today - and being welcomed by smiling faces. I love this crew - even though I don't know them all yet.
3) Being on the late shift - it's never boring let me tell you. The last minute script changes are hiccups that I just smile about. That's life - right?
4) All the puppies I ran into today in the offices where I had drop offs, as well as meeting up with Hudson on set. I was so happy just petting them all today.
5) Spending time just chillin' with my living room mates yesterday and catching up :)


...

tear

Today, I felt down. I miss coming home to Aucky scurrying around in his cage, and just taking him out and petting him to sleep. I miss his constant running on the wheel.


I can't believe he's actually gone

The apartment is really quiet now.

I guess this is all part of the 'coming to terms' process.

...


ToMoRrOw I have softball. Saturday morning I think i'm going to go rollerblading along the waterfront at like 6.30am. To wake up and have a people freeish trip. Then it's an errands day. I might head out of town Saturday night and just go on a random adventure. I'm going to grab random people and just go. It will be fun.

What a blessing it is to have a vehicle. Aside from inevitable downfalls that you hit in life, I feel so unbelievably blessed lately. Amazing people and so many moments to smile about.

I sometimes wish I could lend my eyes to people so that they could see what makes my heart skip. Living is such an amazing thing.


two last comments.

1) When driving down queen street east - over the DVP you come to a sign on the bridge that says "The river I step in, is not the river I stand in." I really like this quote. I think it's a good thing to reflect on.

2) Yesterday someone at work made a comment and the other person hit them hard with a comeback. The initial person said "you just wounded my pride". I was thinking about it - and I think that is a GOOD thing. Pride is a very ugly thing at times...too much is a dangerous thing. I was just thinking about how having your pride 'wounded' is a good way to stay grounded. Delirious has a great song called Take Off My Shoes - some lyrics:

"Hold me, blow all the pride from my bones,
With your fire.
Hold me, breathe on this heart made of stone,
Keep it pure."

I'm not saying Pride is all bad. But in today's society I feel that we all have too much pride - that we're all just a little too stubborn. We took something that is good and thwarted it. Anyway - just a random bit of my two sense. I have no idea if anyone is actually going to read it or even think about it.

wurd. i'm going to clean up my apartment (the ongoing saga)...

T.

The good ol' T-dot.
Toronto - pronounced TOH - RON - TOH (not torono - as pointed out to me from our dear friend Brian Muriuki from Kenya).

APOLOGIES - for some reason the inital image will not upload anymore. It was the night clouds photo from from www.topleftpixel.com - taken on June 15th, 2006. Check this guy's site out - he has some pretty amazing photography. If I can, I will upload it soon enough. :)

TODAY, I found myself appreciating the city a great deal. Last night it hit me how close I am to travelling. I have no ties at the moment holding me back - and so my head is spinning with excitement. The joy of the travel, and the happiness of landing back in Canada (Vancouver God willing) and establishing myself. A contradiction that brews inside of me between the love of the travel, and the desire to establish my career, and eventually a family. Both make me smile. Positive outlooks make the decisions easier.

It was the type of night where you wanted to just walk around the brightly lit downtown core and appreciate the beauty of its architecture. Downtown cores always hold a different feel than other parts of the city.

Toronto truly is a wonderful city, that might not easily be topped by many others. The main reason is the multi-culturalism. Sue & Tom pointed out in living room how this city differs than others - when we spoke about a documentary that might surround the idea of protecting this North American ideal of freedom vs falling into terrorist activities. Here we are, all different - various backgrounds both culturally and religiously, and we all work together, eat together, live together and barely notice it. We co-exist in a very unique way that many cities are not willing to support.

Yes, we certainly have our problems (what metropolis doesn't?) - but there is a certain beauty with this city that is unique in regards to its people.

Think of all the little pockets around the main part of the city. Little portugal, little italy, greektown, both chinatowns - it's so quaint. Yet, anyone can and does live there. It's wonderful.

Today i was driving around and as much as i could have cursed out some VERY terrible drivers, i made it to a red light and smiled. I love this city. It's a challenge to my driving - so i'm always on my toes and I enjoy that. (seeing the good through the ugly) I haven't driven in Vancouver yet, but from being a pedestrian there for a week, i know that I will desperately miss this city once I start driving out there (they are TERRIBLE drivers - maniacs who freak out and do the wrong thing all the time - pedestrians beware).

There is just something beautiful about this city's life. It's not a lifestyle for everyone - and I still prefer mountains to the look of Toronto. None the less, I will always love driving to the St. Clair Reservoir and enjoying the beautiful night sky. I will always love lying down on the upper level of the exterior of City Hall looking at the downtown core. I will always love the random parkettes and preserved parks that we are very fortunate to have to enjoy. I will always love the harbourfront for all its decrepid areas as well as the remodeled boardwalk.

I feel fortunate to have grown up in Canada. Moving from a small town to a small city to this place I now call home.

Seven months and counting.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Rest in Peace, my sweet Aucky

R.I.P. - Auckland "Aucky" McLaughlin
June 7th, 2005 - July 11th, 2006

I was driving home tonight thinking about how strange Aucky was acting this morning. He was sitting down sleeping (which he does quite often) and i opened the cage to say good morning to him and spend some time with him before going to work. He's been nippier lately, so I'm more cautious when I pet him when he's groggy. He didn't move around too much. He did react a bit, but barely. I blew air onto him to see if he would wake up and he simply turned his back to curl up somewhere else.

I wish i had just taken him in my arms to pet him one last time.

Some people might say 'he's just a hamster' or 'he's just a pet' - but pet's play a very important role in their owner's lives. Aucky was definitely important to me.

When I got home tonight, I found him in an unusual pose underneath his wheel. I knew right away. He had passed away during the day.

It's sad, because he was my first pettable pet. And really, through the last few months, has been such a light in my life - he is a super ball of energy that I took care of. Even last night - he just wouldn't stop running on the wheel ALL NIGHT LONG.

I did in deed love this little guy. He was a beautiful little creature. He will be missed dearly.

He was the most adorable dwarf hamster I have ever met. Especially when he was sleeping. His acrobatic ways will be missed, his gnawing on metal, his digging, his running around in circles, his attempts at escaping the maze...

I hope there is a good place for animals to go when they die. :(

Aucky, thank you for all the smiles you brought into my life.

Monday, July 10, 2006

So bad Mondays...



A classic Monday. One that really expresses why people (in general) don’t like Mondays.

Today was one of those days that makes you feel that every Monday must be out to get you. I was on one run this morning that took TWO hours. I was behind three different car accidents. Maybe it was due to the extremely poor visibility (due to the intermediate heavy downpours) – but that can only really explain one (if any) of the accidents. The other two occurred when it was barely drizzling. I believe they were driven by plain lapses in judgment. The worst one saw a minivan jackknife on the QEW and struck by another vehicle. Everyone got out injury free (thank goodness). Usually when you are at a dead stop on a highway like that, it’s not a good sign – but today, everyone walked away.

Something was wrong with me at work. I felt behind all day. And it seems funny to say that when I don’t really have that much responsibility. None the less, it felt like there was always something else to do and all of a sudden it was five o’clock and the prep schedule wasn’t out yet, and the key people were in meetings and ugh ugh ugh. Everything always works out in the end…but I still had that feeling of being 10 steps too late all day.

Today was our first day of production. It went well…and if this is how the rest of the show is to be, I have been blessed to be a part of this production. We were wrapped by 6.40pm. Julie and I were out by 7.15pm. Beautiful. Our call time was 10am – so we’re talking about 9-10 hour days. I have NEVER been on a show like this in my life. Being my last summer in the city, this is a great way to spend it. : )

It rained today. A lot. It thundered and lightninged. Being on the phone at one point was scary cause we had like a white pop around the building and we thought lighting hit the school…which could go through the phone lines (I’ve heard about this happening to people before – very scary). Thank goodness for portable phones – who save you by not being grounded by a cable – yet are prone to being useless during a power outage. (sad)

I love watching thunderstorms. Sadly the windows in the office are all dingy – covered in some sort of matting product.


Smiling through the dimly lit skies:

1) dining on a rooftop patio Saturday.
2) a long walk through the city
3) watching the gorgeous stormy sky pass by our building as other crew and myself watched some clouds dipping down towards the city (the sky was beautiful – the fact that it looked as though a tornado could form was kind of creepy)
4) Quiet time with God. Understanding that He listens to your prayers, but doesn’t always answer them in the most direct fashion. Learning to smile through this challenge.
5) An amazing sermon on Sunday (thank you David).




With so much time in the car this morning, today became a reflective day. I shut off the music and spent time listening to the tinny pangs of rain drops on the roof of this hollow beigey gold cobalt I now call my wheels o’ freedom. Even on my drive home, I took the long way, ensuring I could drive up the Bayview extension and just enjoy the road for a while. Thinking.

I love driving. I don’t know why. When I was a child, I loved my bike. It was an escape from my world, from my moment. No matter how bad anything could become, I always had that escape. Learning how to drive opened a new door to a new escape – a bigger road than I could ever bike (especially now with my knees). I feel at peace on the road. You have the option of muting the world inside and just being there, or spending the time thinking on your own, or even blasting the most wonderful music of the moment and singing along to it as loud as you want. You can carry friends with you and share on your adventures. You can move yourself. You can explore places you can’t reach any other way.

All you have to do is use a simple metal key to shift a machine into the letter “D” and end up across the country. What an amazing combination of inventions.

Yay to the car.

"I'm leaving on a jet plane. I don't know when I'll be back again." is playing in my head right now. Delightful and almost lullabyesque at this late hour.

Should I have left 3 years ago?

A hiccup in my career is postponing my travels. I do not wish to make my life in this city – even though I love the city most of the time. That being said, moving up in the industry is difficult when you choose not to unionize yourself or choose to plant your roots here. I could try to get involved in more extensive productions, but then I would not be able to leave. I always want to see projects through to the end – and this feeling is stopping me from furthering my career. Does that make sense?

It does to me – and I guess that’s all that matters. : )

My brother got his stitches out today. About two Thursdays ago I got this phone call from my brother. “Hey, what hospital are we going to tonight to visit Finn?” “The one at Dundas and Bathurst, I think it’s Toronto Western General”. “Oh, that’s funny, I was just there today!” “You went to see him without me?” “No, I got 15 stitches today”. At this moment I pause – cause I come from a very sarcastic family – so this could go either way. “what do you mean you got 15 stitches? Where?” “On my head, I did something stupid”. Anyway – it’s a long story. All I have to say is new apartment, smaller than average doors, running – not a good combination.

But all is well – his head, I guess, is healed. I would hope so, since they removed the stitches. He waited 4 hours to have them put in, and only 2 hours to have them removed. What’s wrong with this picture?

Bright blue stitches no more. He is lucky they didn’t shave his beautiful curly hair. His roommate thought it was a joke at first – that he put fake blood around the apartment.

...

Sadly, it was no joke. And what a terrible joke that would be…

My mind is numb. I have to go figure out about buying a GIC.

Off and away.
Have a splendid day.

Good Bye.


Saturday, July 08, 2006

spending time

Five smiles of today:

1) Imaginary road bumps causing people to break (Full Story: They recently dug up Manor Road and FINALLY repaved it two days ago. I thought something was unusual about the street when i first drove on it, but couldn't figure out what it was. Then i noticed that the '30km/h' bumps weren't there anymore - but the signs still are (they will most likely be adding them in the not so distant future). Anyway. I was following this SUV up my street when he suddenly slammed on his breaks at the bump sign to slow down - and i laughed - cause i knew why he did it. And he kept doing it all the way up the hill. I was sad that I wasn't going to be following him anymore - i have a feeling he is an entertaining driver).

2) Hearing the Grand Prix drivers going through their practise runs. Walking through the school at Dundas & Bathurst and hearing the cars zipping around non stop - yet they are still so far away. (Made me think about two years ago - when the molson indy race cars drove in. I was on a run and parked on the east side of Yonge street, crossed Yonge street to drop off an actor's contract. Leave this exact same building within 3 minutes - except that now I can't cross Yonge street due to police inhibitions. They weren't permitting anyone to cross because the transport trucks carrying the indy cars were driving down Yonge street like in a parade. So funny. I was stuck on the west side for over 20mins)

3) The gigantic flock of butterflies that were running up my stomach (figuratively speaking - but that intense butterflies in your stomach feeling but worse cause the stomach can't hold them in - so they want to fly out through your oesophagus). I tried chewing original flavored bubilicious to calm my soul.

4) Playing softball tonight with old & new friends. It was fun and a good work out - I have a feeling my arms are going to be sore tomorrow.

5) Having time to spend with new people and getting to know them.


Good music in the cd player tonight - that made me smile.

We go to camera on Monday - so today (at the very end) became slightly chaotic. We survived (Chris/Julie - you guys okay?). :)

Tomorrow we're hitting up one of MANY events going on in the city this weekend. There's the 'grand prix' (aka molson indy), harbourfront music festival, celebrate toronto (so every main intersection that hooks up with Yonge street is closed) and there must be more. Such a busy city in the summer - it's crazy. I think the graffiti weekend is coming back this summer as well - might want to check that out as well.

I think next weekend might be for 'Tobermory'. Go camping or something for a night.

I'm out - have fantabulous evenings everyone.

Friday, July 07, 2006

It kind of felt like the strip in Sauble beach. Felt like my childhood.

My five smiles of the day.

1. The view from my favorite Toronto Park (St. Clair Reservoir) on this crisp and ever so clear night.
2. My hyper & acrobatic dwarf hamster Aucky.
3. Cartwheeling my bed (mattress/boxpring) with Lisa into my brother's new apartment.
4. Clearing space in my apartment to FINALLY get organized.
5. Playing catch with Julie after work - thanks for remembering your glove and providing me with extra practise.

I saw ZANTA today doing chalk art on Cumberland. :)

Lisa and I had about a half hour to kill between loading the bed into the minivan and dropping it off at my brothers. So, we felt it appropriate to grab a bit of ice cream. Funny enough, we ended up at the 'Big Chill'. Twice in one week - crazy. As we were sitting there on the bench looking at the colourful assortment of decorations on the wall and studying the 'BC' sign, i realized how much it reminded me of our camping trips when i was a kid. This ice cream store feels like it could be on the main strip in Sauble Beach (well, at least the sauble beach i remember, and it's almost been 15 years or so...so it's very possible that it is very different).

Today was just good. :) Thank you everyone for the smiles provided through the day.

Tomorrow is Friday. I switch to the early shift. We play softball at night. I think I also get to meet up with Goose and pick up our EXTRA behind the scenes from Sunday's trip. Yay.

I have a feeling it's going to be a gorgeous weekend.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Revisiting the ‘smiles’ journal

A few years back I was going through a rough time. In order to keep myself thinking on the bright side, I decided to keep a ‘smiles’ journal. Every day I would have to find five things that made me smile. Sounds easy, but it’s deceiving at times. It was a great exercise as it made me truly reflect on my entire day every single night and eventually you begin to see every moment for the positive that it could emit.

I was thinking about starting one up again. Maybe just on my blog.


My five smiles for today:

1) Watching the gang climbing trees in living room.
2) The bull mastiff puppy trying to eat my hand at work.
3) The Xerox machine was repaired today!
4) Playing catch with Daniel and finding out that I am a worthy player.
5) The way the moon shone through the clouds at night and how crisp the air is today.


Today was a good day. Nothing spectacular – just more that nothing was wrong and I was able to appreciate all the moments.

Living room was at Riverdale park west – and it was so nice to be outdoors for it. Many attempts were had to climb this one tree, but only Tom rose to the top. Dan helped me work on my softball skills. I had a blast tonight – because we laughed a lot. I absolutely love everyone in my living room. Also very excited that Rachel will be returning in under a month (yay).

Work was fun. On and off the road all day. Plenty of work to do. Just a good crowd. I continue to meet new people every day – and you can tell this is the type of crowd that falls together very quickly.

I’m not much in a writing mood. I’ve been away from my blog for so long, I have to get back into writing. : p

The Blasted Xerox Machine – thank heavens for ice cream!!!

MUSIC MOOD

I work in an office full of women who like heavy music. So nice. : ) My partner in crime (Chris – the other PA) is a musician himself, and one day had asked me what type of music I listened to. I tried to think about a list, and the first thing that came out of my mouth was ‘Chevelle’, to which Shannon replied that she loved Chevelle. And so begins my music of the day.

TOOL – Julie (tnx a mil) has leant me three of her Tool cds so that I can listen to them for a bit (and put them on me laptop). I have to tell you that Aenima hasn’t left my car’s cd player yet. I’m hooked on ‘H’ which is track number 3. I don’t fully know why I’m completely attracted to the song in this moment, but I absolutely love the sound and the musical ‘story line’ (basically where the song/music takes you sonically, not necessarily lyrically).


THE COPIER

The Xerox 5585. I might have that code wrong. Anyway, this note is one all too familiar for those of us who have used this terribly overworked machine. Most film production offices use this machine as it has a lot of opportunity to do large amounts of copying. It’s a monster of a machine (very, very large). Also – very, very OLD. And Old in copier life means continuous malfunctions.

Today, I couldn’t double side any of my paperwork. We’re 5 days from principal photography – so that’s NO good. After about 30 minutes of struggling with this machine, and on the verge of kicking the silly thing, Hudson walked into the copier room. He’s like this four legged angel. Just looking at his beautiful face is enough to make anyone smile and find that hidden peace inside of them that they lost 25 minutes before. : p

And there, ladies and gentlemen, is the beauty behind having a puppy in a production office. : )


MY FEETSES

I rolled my ankles on Sunday when I landed. (the full story is yet to come, waiting for pictures to tell the story too) At first, they really hurt – but the adrenaline subdued much of the pain. Thank goodness for things like adrenaline and shock. : ) The natural pain killers. I did really notice the pain in my right foot a lot more. And it continues to come and go. At first, I thought I would be okay – but today, it wasn’t feeling so hot. Ugh. On top of that, I might have a broken big toe, but cannot confirm that. So let’s just say that today was not the best day to wear flip flops. : ( Stupid feet. I guess it’s my fault for lowering my legs at the last second. I also tend to roll my ankles a great deal (I swear my leg joints don’t work properly, because I have major probs with my knees and hips, why not my ankles??)


THE DAY – WORK

Work was good today. : ) Busy on and off the road. There was a random downpour in the middle of the day. Thank goodness it didn’t last. Left early enough today (6pmish) which was lovely. Still have me ‘golden-mobile’. He doesn’t have a real name yet – because I’m still not sure if I will be keeping him. Scott has to take it for a spin to see if the rattling is a cause for concern. Otherwise, I’ll just put up with it (which is fine).


THE DAY – POST WORK

Tonight I had a lovely evening. : ) Hung out with Maegan. Walked through little Italy and grabbed a cone at the “Big Chill” (such a quaint little place). Ate the yummy Canadian made ice cream cones just north of College street. It was LOUD – let me tell you. Italy won their Semi-Final game today against Germany. So it was crazy noisy all night (and continues to be so). It was really chill hanging out with Mae. By the end of the night Cyril joined us on the street and we began ‘conspiracy theory’ discussions. : p

Thank you for the lovely evening Mae flower.

Driving has been very nice today.

Lisa is working on a photo shoot for a few ‘Blaze’ series book covers this Thursday. She is being a sweetheart, and while she has a rented vehicle, will help me move my bed to my brother’s place so that I can FINALLY resume work on my apartment. YAY.
Thank you so very much LL, I really appreciate the help.

The “Discovery” was launched this early afternoon for a trip to work on the International Space Station. I remember when the last one landed while we were shooting ‘Zoom’ – Jessica and I coined a phrase that would follow us every day. “You’re not an astronaut.”. It made us feel a bit better. There were some people on that set who really thought they were above everyone else – and we kept thinking, we’re just working in film – it’s not like we’re doing life changing work. So when the astronauts landed, you really think about the type of adventure they must have had.

Yeah.

I’m out. Have a lovely moment.