mind games

we are a funny species. a funny thing about us, is that we get so proud when we find a good deal.

the best example i have of this - is finding cheap gas. that's right ladies & gentlemen, when we drivers find cheap gas prices AND gas up at that cheap gas price, we get cocky about it - for some odd reason. honestly - why is that?

so, i gased up today at 80.1. i thought that was pretty good. the night before, j-dawg gased at 84c/litre - so this shows the prices are continuing to drop. tonight - the prices were 78.9 in my area, and they were rumored to have been as low as 74.9 in the city throughout the day. the last time we saw gas this low, might have been last november - for a freak moment.

now, my friends, i sit here and wonder once again why we are all so happy about this - a mere two years ago we were gasing up for MUCH less. *sigh*

luckily, hurricane Ernesto did not find its way to the gulf this time around (it's been a year since hurricaine Katrina). ocean oil rigs were destroyed in that storm, and the gas prices shot up tremendously last summer. there were comments made on television today that the reason the gas is still dropping is because the hurricaine shifted away from that area.

whatever the reason may be for the falling prices, i wonder when it will shoot up again. kind of takes away from the enjoyment of the moment.

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ah, gas stations. reminds me of my trip to buffalo with Sarah & Magali a few Januarys ago - for the sole purpose of eating at an IHOP. On our way back, we drove through a US Tim Hortons to get directions back to the border. at one point, the server told us to drive between two gas stations - the Sunoco and the Noco - that were right across the street from one another. we were amused.

this moment is caught on tape - and is quite funny when viewed. not so effective in writing.

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the week's been chill - late nights at work (it's all good) - the late evenings bring out funny characteristics of different crew members. never a dull evening.

- end of show discussions happening (the stress of what to do next...) Glimmer might not start until the new year now...

- i am meeting up with the PM/Producer of the other show at the end of September. i'm praying that this one will work out - would be coordinating a documentary/re-enactment show in the new year if everything pans out...

- the fire alarm went off yesterday evening due to the use of sparklers in a scene...three fire trucks showed up, despite being warned by our locations department that our alarm was a false alarm immediately after they sounded (i must say it is an interesting way to put a hiccup in your day - when 3 truck loads of firefighters come searching through your school)

- we're on our last set of episodes. the show is almost over. and i'm really going to miss this group of people - sad.

- my partner in crime Chris (alt PA) left us last friday for another show (he has since been repl. by our Ted). Chris, however, did not leave with a bang - more like a bust (sorry dude). i kicked his butt at 'rock, paper, scissors' for like the first time ever (a method we used to use to determine who would be able to go on runs throughout the day). ALSO - i whooped him in bowling, scoring a 198 (online personal best) with a stellar series of strikes & spares. Hmmm- i'm being too proud. It was just such a strange day - very backwards. Oh chris, the office is different now that you're gone - hope you're having fun on the new show.

- shout out to Tom & Bethany who have both set out on their respective Eastbound travels for the next chapters of their lives. Tom will continue his travels to Halifax tomorrow as Bethany settles in Ottawa tonight. Good luck guys. We'll come visit soon. : )

- toronto internation film festival is coming. mike and i are working out our 10 coupon pass booklet as we speak. it's due friday by 1pm. i have ONE weekend of opportunity to see the films i'd like...this should be interesting. we might go see a WETA film about killer sheep - it looks hilarious. ah midnight madness flicks - the joys.

Pros & Cons of the TIFF - pros: i'm in film, i enjoy watching the films (but i'm not huge about it). it brings in good revenue for the city of toronto. we host the 2nd best festival in the world. the city is very lively. cons: (1)being in line ups (waiting for a film) with people who are comparing autographs they received from the same person - honestly, i have been there and it's not a pretty picture, (2) being surrounded by people who act all snooty about their knowledge of the industry when it's all a loud of poo (no offense to these people, but being in the industry, it can get to be too much listening to these people - they are very smart talkers these TIFF folks, but sometimes, it's not even close), (3) not being a star struck fan - yet being trapped in a flock of those who are. we went to a midnight screening once and the film just before us was staring Orlando Bloom. there was a flock of women (all ages) waiting to see his face, snag a photo of him briskly walking away...lucky for us, the super fans were all waiting at the main doors. UNFORTUNATELY there was a door directly to my right, and that was THE door that Orlando and others exited from. needless to say, a group of us hopped up onto this semi-tall cement wall to avoid being trampled on by the supa-crazed fans. I'm telling ya - i just don't understand this star struck nature.

I'm not a star struck individual in the least.

that is all i had to say for the evening. not the most blog worthy post - but that's because my mind is pre-occupied.

we move kim tomorrow. wish us luck.

a moment to show no fear

maybe it was that i felt guided. i don't feel as certain anymore when i think about it now. it was very clear back when it all began. was He really trying to tell me something? did i misread Him? was it all in my head? then a friend of mine reminded me that sometimes He simply shows you the direction, and allows you much freedom on the path you take. He will always be there with you, no matter how you travel. but He does give you direction.

i like to live my life with no regrets. why bother bogging your heart down with regret - the only one it ends up affecting is you. if you step up, trust in Him, brave the unknown - you did all that you could - and for this, your heart will not carry the burden of regret.

you must come prepared. for this in no way protects you from pain and sorrow. you will not always succeed. but then again, life isn't about winning all the battles.

so what path do i take?

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i had a lovely weekend. when my head stops spinning, i will write about it. tnx to mom & dad for coming down.

my test results should be in on wednesday.

i encountered a new species of bug when i got home tonight. i did not make friends. i am happy that i will no longer have to meet these friendly basement dwellers. i will simply embrace whatever new bugs might come my way. and quite frankly - after living here - i feel highly prepared for whatever Canada has to throw at me.

i desperately need to pack. i also need to cancel things...

a group of us did make it out to high park tonight for the screening of Ice Age II. it drizzled throughout the entire film - but we all came out okay. we even played a game of suchige post movie. : p

i'm looking for a bed to sleep in for the next year. ikea did not inspire me this time around. i can't remember for the life of me who suggested that i speak to the set department at my work place about purchasing Sadie's bedroom set. none the less - tonight when i was passing out paperwork - i came across the bedframe chillin' out in the hallway. it's nice - so i spoke to our set designer about it. i might have scored a good double bed. fresh from a tv set ladies & gentlemen. : p

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sadly, i have nothing more in me to post. much is travelling through my head - but very little wants to come out. i guess it's comfortable in there.

good night

transitions to the unfamiliar world of tomorrow

we wrapped at 8.45pm tonight. i left work tonight, and it was dark outside. summer is nearing the end of its reign here in Toronto.

the CNE is in town - usually the moment that pops up, you realize that yet another summer has flown by. where did this summer go? it was very busy and amazing - which makes it harder to see it go.

so, it's been a great deal of time since I last blogged. Don't worry - i haven't forgotten about my blog. Life's just been very busy for me lately - and i've been spending a lot of time just pondering about events and moments instead of writing about them. they remain logged and may surface this weekend.

i feel that with every blink, a new transition in my life is exposed. the whirlwind of a moment that we are given to exist and i feel as though it is slipping away so quickly. i'm playing catch up to the moments that don't want to wait for me to understand. it's been a very interesting month.

we had living room last night and it was amazing. Rachel is back from her semester abroad + travels. Tom & Bethany are leaving us to pursue their degrees in both Halifax & Ottawa respectively. It was amazing to almost all be together. I can't express how blessed I feel to know this amazing group of people. and last night, spending it with them, was one of those moments that you want to hold close forever. i absolutely love each and every one of them. we welcome back one, and wish two others adieu for the moment. a new transition. they will be missed. can i tell you that we played 'suchige sa pa poe' (spelling?) together - and it was hilarious (thank you Katherine for teaching this hilarious game at Freek Out). the night ended with a inpromtu roadtrip to Grimsby to bring Rachel safely back to her humble abode. Completing full circle - Operation Hahnus Abductus - with great success. thanks to Daniel's clever kidnapping skills.

transition: preparing for my return - seemingly funny, since i'm not gone yet. my GICs will be opened in the very near future. i tracked my package today - and it arrived safely this morning at my financial investment institute. it's difficult to see your bank account drop dramatically. i guess my dad's investment talents have motivated me to be more prepared - it must have something to do with how i was raised. we're all really good with money, and i'm very grateful that my parents instilled a financial understanding in us at a young age.

i think i was six or seven years old when i realized that my absolute favoritest stuffed animal, Saddoggy (a mutated plush panda bear), was on his 'last leg' (he's still around to this day - what a trooper). I was devastated. my parents would talk to me about preparing for that day to come. i had to find (purchase) a replacement panda bear. i honestly think this is where my ability to save kicked in. i saved up all this money (from birthdays and just general nickel collecting) and bought a new plush panda bear to have on standby for when Saddoggy bit the dust. i remember my parents being really proud about how i had saved up the money on my own and purchased it on my own. they prepared us at a young age to understand the reward of being wise with your earnings.

all this to say, that a large fraction of my money has left me to become GICs that will blossom here in Canada while I travel abroad. their sole purpose (thus far) is to grow until I return. That way, when i come home from however long i plan to travel for, i will not start off from scratch. i'll be able to get settled in comfortably as the next chapter of my life will begin.

it's just scary thinking about it though. planning for the future is very important, and when you begin working full time after University, it becomes a huge part of your financial planning & management.

when I was driving home, I couldn't stop thinking about the future. travelling eastbound on the Gardiner, before it splits off to the DVP, i was imagining that I was on the Lion's Gate Bridge in Vancouver. It was solid darkness all around me, so it was easy to imagine. and you know what, it felt right. i'm excited for when that chapter meets my moment and i am living that part of my dream.

transition - removing the bad in my life. television & bad food. out, out, out. I'm actually amazed at how well parts of this transition are going for me. Ever since we began buying the Tropicana Orchard Style Apple Juice at my work, i've stopped drinking pop all together (again). And i feel great. i'm now even drinking water a bit more. honestly - i usually just drink juice and maybe power drinks (powerade/gatorade). So the addition to water is a very big step for me.

I'm not doing as well on the sugar/bad foods just yet. But there is a lot of hope. the problem i see is that when my eating is thrown off, i turn to snacking. and when you're at work and there is nothing to do, snacking gets worse. My eating habits are always thrown for a loop when i work on a show. I have to really focus on this problem and work hard at it. the week before our camping trip, i avoided all sugar and i felt great at the end of the week. i'm attempting to go at it again. mind you, i will not promise to stay away from sugar all together - as i have a great appreciation for milkshakes and good ol' corner store gummie candies.

i'm rocking it on the television factor. I will be moving in under two weeks - and i pray that we don't cave and get cable (mind you, i will miss the movies on TBS). i like the idea of avoiding the life-sucking box (except to watch movies for real). i have lost too much time in a trance in front of this terrible thing. I really only watch two shows right now, Treasure Hunters and The Hills. Mind you - i have missed the last two weeks of both shows. i will still watch the Amazing Race and probably even Survivor. and i will miss the MTV shows that i have grown to enjoy (shame on me). and i will most definitely miss watching all the reruns of Saved by the Bell, that i must have seen at least 10 times over the last 8 months.

transition - life in general. where do you start explaining all the things that seem to be renewing themselves in your life. you can't really. a lot of things are changing. i'm moving in under 2 weeks and i'm very excited about this new beginning. moving is hard but change is good. Naturally, Sadie will soon come to an end - and who knows what other show I might attach myself to. we're all still praying that Glimmer gets picked up - as it would mean steady work for several months for a good deal of people. with the summer months coming to an end, so to are the summer activities. i hope that we are still able to sneak in that last camping trip up at Tobermory before the end of September. there is so much more that is weighing on my heart - but now's not the time to delve into all the details.

Yeah. so that's me right now. There is a lot of newness around me.

plethora of things...i think softball might get rained out tomorrow. (sad) my parents are in town this weekend. i'm going to look at beds at ikea this weekend. i might even buy a digital camera (finally) - have been eyeing the Canon Power Shot SD700 IS. after i'm moved into my apartment, i head off to MEC to buy my backpack (it's all coming together soooo nicely). test results should be in by next wednesday. nervous, scared and anxious about that. rollerblading around the office at work tonight was fun. my toaster allegedly jumped off of the dehumidifier the other morning - ending with a loud thud and a very confused me. there is no real explanation for this. my box fortress is growing by the day.

nothing but smiles, even through the rain.

know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum

(weekend recap to come - i promise)

A song that was in my head today - and i feel can speak volumes on those days where your heart is a monster teeter-totter.

Yesterday was an incredible day of ups & downs for myself. Sometimes, it can be very overwhelming.

Baz Luhrmann Presents:

everybody's free (to wear SUNSCREEN)
The Sunscreen Song (class of '99)

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '99

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.

The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists.

whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable

than my own meandering experience.

I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.

Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power

and beauty of your youth until they've faded.

But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself
and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay
before you
and how fabulous you really looked.

You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future.

Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective
as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things
that never crossed your worried mind,
the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts.

Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy.

Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind.

The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults.

If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life.

The most interesting people I know didn't know
at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives.

Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees.
You'll miss them when they're gone.

(note from me: take this one seriously

- if you don't have bad knees - protect them.

I'm 25 and i definitely miss the abilities my knees used to have)

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't.

Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't.

Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken
on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate
yourself either.

Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body.

Use it every way you can.
Don't be afraid of it or of what other people
think of it.

It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

"brother and sister together we'll make it through,
someday a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know that you're hurting but i've been waiting there for you
and I'll be there just helping you out
whenever I can"

Get to know your parents. You never know

when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past
and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,
but with a precious few you should hold on.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle,
because the older you get, the more you need the people
who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.

Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths:

Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old.

And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young,
prices were reasonable, politicians were noble,
and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you.

Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse.
But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair

or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy,
but be patient with those who supply it.

Advice is a form of nostalgia.
Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past
from the disposal,
wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts
and recycling it for more than
it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

"brother and sister together we'll make it through,
someday a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know that you're hurting but I've been waiting there for you
and I'll be there just helping you out
whenever I can
everybody's free
everybody's free
to feel good"

Bon Echo Provincial Park

Rob J sang Kumbaya over msn today.

I smiled. I am so much looking forward to tomorrow night's drive out to Bon Echo.

See this little piece of heaven (in the photo) - this was taken at Bon Echo. So gorgeous.

Two days of enjoying the outdoors with fellow Freedomizers. Two days away from the cemented city of Toronto. A whole weekend of beautiful weather.

I feel very blessed. I can't imagine how much more I'm going to feel this once I set eyes on the park Saturday morning.

We might be piggy back driving with another car out to the park - which will be good for the both of us drivers. It's nice to know you have a partner out there.

Ack. I can't wait. I pray that my eyes find strength to make it through the entire drive.

un dodo.

Today was uneventful. Still trying to sort out the whole Skydiving video thing. Still waiting to hear back about the apartment. I know for a fact that it's between us and another group of three girls. But the guy keeps changing the price, and i was firm with him about where we stood with this. I am praying so hard that by noon tomorrow we will have the best news! :)

i have so much to do before the day is done yet. packing and prepping and cleaning. i'm off. have a great weekend everyone.

a little thing I like to call my security blanket

my sleeping bag

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To some - this might appear to be a sleeping bag.

I call it my little piece of heaven. I have officially started shopping for my worldly adventure. The first lucky piece is this ravishing sleeping bag. Isn't it gorgeous? :)

It's a MEC hybrid synthetic/down mummy bag. For those adventure geeks (like me) out there - this bag is a combination of Hyperloft and down. The down is the reason that it is so light (only 1.5kg) and also creates a great insulation. The hyperloft is the first layer inside the outershell, protecting the down and also preventing it from becoming the disasterous wet beast. Down sleeping bags + water = BAD NEWS.

I also bought a compressor - and i'm so excited - the sleeping bag shrinks down to NOTHING. It's fantastic. All thanks to the down. Synthetic materials do not compress this small.

Fun smiles. I finally narrowed my list of sleeping bags down to three. I was looking for an employee to simply run me through a quick overview of those few bags (to make sure I hadn't missed any details important for the final decision). I find someone who just finished helping another customer. I got a confirmation from the customer that they didn't need him anymore, and jumped into my question. I stopped and stood there - with a face of recognition. I was like 'you look really familiar' and he responded with 'i was just thinking that'. Moment of silence (not awkward) "rock climbing shoes", he exclaimed. I smiled. You need to understand that I LOVE MEC. I am in heaven when i walk into this store - for real. So, a few months back, a friend and I went to MEC to check out their rock climbing shoes. We were about to go check out the Rock Oasis for the first time together - and were thinking about joining the gym. Buying your own gear is A LOT cheaper than renting everytime. Anyway - long story to say this guy was so amazingly patient with us as we tried on almost every type of rock climbing shoe that they had at MEC. We were there for like an hour. He was super chill. It almost felt like an old friend - we couldn't stop gabbing about stuff (mainly trip taking, my camping trip, and climbing). It made me happy. One of my new roomates is interested in rock climbing - and this guy climbs at Rock Oasis too - so our paths might just cross again. I think it would be an interesting run in.

Three hot air balloons floated on by tonight.

Tomorrow morning, I'm going on an adventure. I'll fill you in tomorrow. I apparently have to pop two tylenols before I go to lower the pain. What?!?

Today was a silly day. Not as busy on the road as Tuesday. Thomas and David came to visit (David to work, Thomas to just play - he's only 17 months old).

Some guy in our neighbourhood (of the school i work at) took a knife to one of our seeway cable patches that we run off of the roof. A local man got into an argument with him, bothered that he would try to vandalize our property. Anyway - this local man bumped into Shannon who had to go investigate. Later in the afternoon - david was asked to go up on the roof to pull the whole cable up (to avoid further problems). I went up on the roof with him. We have an AMAZING view from up there. Clear view all the way to downtown Toronto. Gorgeous. Especially on a day like today.

Two days to Freek Out. Two days to a very interesting day/evening/night. Two red bulls, four passengers. A plethora of mixed cds. Good weather forecast. This is going to be classic.

Woot to Freek Out Tree.Oh

in other news...

a plethora of unrelated stories.

On msn with Sarah today - wanted to give you guys another update. She's still doing fabulous out in Nairobi. Read one of her articles on changes happening with the UN-HABITAT program - you can check it out here. All in all, she is well, smiling as always.

Returning amigas include ms. Hahn who will be landing sometime today from her 8 month trip overseas. She was studying in Hong Kong for a semester abroad, and then set out on an adventure around Asia and Australia.

Yesterday I saw a guy walking down the street with a frying pan and a fork...eating what appeared to be a pile of beans and four pieces of bread. it was simply interesting.

went to the crew screening of Zoom yesterday. Um...i can't say too much about the movie. It really wasn't that great...maybe I just don't appreciate it cause i am not of the age group they are really aiming for. It's also very difficult to watch a film you worked on - i feel that every scene I see on the screen reminds me of last summer (when it was shot here in Toronto). The backstories and all the memories fill my head and take away from my attention towards the actual film.

anyway. i'm all movied out - four on sunday, one on monday, one on tuesday. i know that i work in the film industry - but that doesn't really mean i always want to be working/watching films. don't get me wrong - i love the industry that i'm in...certain parts of it - but it's not my entire life.

i'm quite nervous right now. we leave for Bon Echo in TWO DAYS!!!! But my friday is almost insane. i work really early in the am, then cut out early to go to a wedding with Enoch, then at some point, we're going to leave the wedding, hit up my place to get changed, jump in the car, pick up Brent & Shawna, and then drive between 3-4 hours to Bon Echo - praying that our posse is still awake and that we are able to find a comfy tent to sleep in. it's going to be a blast. i am very much looking forward to a weekend away from the city - and a long road trip with friends. very chill. however, friday is still going to be this insane day/night.

i am in need of supplies. Oh - but i found a sleeping bag for NZ, so I'm buying it tonight, and Bon Echo will be its first test. so fun.

marcel is in our production office right now - out of boredom, he has decided to do a little jig. :) You know, shannon said today might be a little slow. i'm enjoying it while it lasts - cause this will not last very long.

haven't heard back yet about the three bedroom apartment. still praying.

hope the sun shining in your part of the world.

the family

of centipedes. There were baby centipedes, teenage centipedes, mama centipedes, papa centipedes and grandpa centipedes.

I smiled. There was only one fly.

So it's been a whirlwind of a weekend. I am moving. Probably sooner than I imagined. Found a place today. Will now be living with two roomates - Kim & Hannah. I'm excited about this new beginning. Saw a cute place in my neck of the woods...steps from a wicked park with two premium baseball diamonds and a killer toboggan hill. So fun. New carpets and bathroom. Strange kitchen - but it's almost overlooked when you realize that two of us have been living in basement apartments and just want the abundance of light that exists in this apartment.

So we pray that we are approved by the guy now. pray & pray & pray.

Today was seriously messy internally. More so because of the lack of sleep. My parents called at around 8.15 am and I was still up from the day before. I took a 'nap' at about 8.20am and woke up at 10.06am. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I had to be at the apartment for a look see at 10.00am.

I flew out of my apartment. Checked out the potential digs - didn't really feel called to it. Then I started to worry about everything. Is it really a good idea to move? Is this what I'm supposed to be doing? That's when Kim and I ended up on MSN and found this cute three bdrm place we both called. The landlord called by 4pm and wanted to show the place by 5pm. Ack. It was a funny run through the city to grab ms. maurice before heading back up to check out the area.

Talked to Leslie about the whole moving out thing - and we had a great talk. I really will miss her as my landlady - she was great. She even offered to help me bring some of the larger loads over to my new apartment with her Honda Element. Very chill.

Checked out the movie night at High Park again tonight. They were screening '50 1st dates'. There were 6 of us in our party. It was fun. You know watching films with a large crowd really increases your reaction. I found myself laughing so much more watching the film this time around. And I noticed how much everyone around me was laughing. I think I bent toward the norm of the crowd with my reactions - of course this is all done on a subconscious level. Interesting.

Anyway. What a gorgeous night - so crisp was the air. Saw a shooting star while lying on the blanket during the 'intermission' (or what we like to call random pausing in the middle of the movie...ugh). It was nice.

This weekend has proven to be a very God driven weekend. I feel very empowered by His presence lately. And for this I am very grateful. It's been an interesting weekend.

It's about 1am. I have to be up in about four hours. 'night.

ps. Anna, I didn't see you tonight! : (

something that only random days can bring.

Tonight. It's 6.18 in the morning, and I've been up for about 25.5 hours now. I can't go to sleep yet, cause I'm checking out an apartment at 10.00am and I definitely don't want to miss the appointment. So since I got home so late, I've opted to simply stay up and tough it out.

My back up still exists with my parents both giving me a call before they head out to work, just in case. :) Remember people, back up plans are VERY important.

Sunday was a very productive day. Cleaned up a bit more around the apartment. Did ALL my laundry. Ran a few errands. Did set up at church - which went really well considering it's the long weekend - and most people are not here over the long weekends. Had a strong worship service and David's sermon was great (Psalm 130). Rapid tear down...then a few of us set out on a very long night (almost 9 hours from start to finish) at the Drive in.

That's right people, we spent our evening chilling out at the Oakville 5 Drive In. If you've never been to a drive-in, I advise you make an attempt. It was not my first time, but I forgot how much fun it can be. We had many laughs. First of all it's important to remember when driving up Ford Drive, to have great patience, because it can take a LONG time simply getting in to pay your ticket.

To our surprise, tonight they were screening FOUR movies. Ugh. So many movies. We checked out the girliest of the screens. 1) The Devil Wears Prada (good movie), 2) John Tucker Must Die (stupid, yet sadly better than number 3), 3) My Super Ex-Girlfriend (had so much potential, but it really did just suck - although i still think part of throwing the shark through the bedroom window is funny), and lucky number 4) X-men 3: The Last Stand (or is it?).

We had primo parking too. Front row centre...seriously. We have no idea why people weren't parking where we camped out.

Mental note: it is key to bring lawn chairs. Among the three of us, we only had one - and that was forgotten at home by my amiga (silly Goose).

Best way to start out your experience at the Drive in - make a loud comment with your windows rolled down. Drive-ins carry with them a certain type of expectation (stereotypical) of 'couples' screening films. So my dear, will remain anonymous friend, made a lovely comment along the lines of 'great, they're probably going to make out beside us'. So, yeah, my window was rolled down, as was theirs...and we're pretty closely parked...so there isn't a doubt in my mind that they heard that one.

Does this happen to anyone else? When you laugh so much that you can't quite function anymore? Like your motor skills start to fade away. I could not for the life of me roll up my window fast enough after my friend made the comment.

My mind is not quite coherant at this time, it could be how tired I actually am. So I will just mention some smiles I pulled from the drive in...

1) Leaving the terrible bathrooms. The one closest to our screen was locked at one point and we had to treck all the way to screen number 1. But it was great cause we were able to catch snipits of what the other screens were playing.

2) The freedom that you carry when you have a portable wind up radio.

3) When you're sitting in your car and you look behind you when the movie is playing. It's so beautiful to see the multi colourful lights flickering over the rooftops of the cars.

4) Primo seats.

5) Travelling to see three films. Leaving having seen four.

6) Entertaining classic drive in commercials.

7) The atmosphere of the entire drive in experience.

Driving into the city around 5.00am this morning. It's funny, cause David was just talking about this in his sermon - about the transition between a night's sky to the sunrise. And I was up and able to enjoy that quiet moment.

I'm so sleepy. I'm praying that if/when I do fall asleep, I'll be able to wake up in time. I really am praying for this apartment to work out.

The strange thing is that when I got home tonight - there wasn't a single bug in the apartment. It makes me not want to move...it really is a cute place that works perfect for me. *sigh*

ps. We discovered that a great deal of the mutants from X3 had really sucky mutant powers. I mean, like the guy with the big white wings. Yes, it would be cool to fly, but his use in the film was kind of lame. And then there was porcupine boy. Meh. If you were a mutant, what would your mutant power be?

I just hope it's a cool mutant power...

rediscovering seaseme sticks.

I feel like I'm trapped in a bubble. It might be some sort of anxiety. Ugh...anxiety sucks.

So, it's saturday night. 7.23pm to be exact, and i have returned home from a box mission. i hit up some LCBOs in the hood, and i think i'm going to pack tonight. Sound like fun?

So i'm really excited about the move...although i was happy not moving in the last two years. Prior to living here, i had moved THREE times in one month. Once to a great little two bedroom apartment with a new roomate, who turned out to be a nut, so we (two friends and myself) did an emergency move to my friend's place - who was away during the summer, so his Toronto room was open, then I finally moved here. Oh my goodness, that was the most un-fun ever. Moving sucks, but feeling completely displaced and constantly going around and around...yuck.

Anyway. i like this little place. it's quaint. But i'm ready to go. I spent a good chunk of time last week trying to re-settle into this apartment and it wasn't going well. Although...my old bedroom now has a TON of pictures up. I love how the room looks now, so it will be sad to take that part of it down.

I'm checking out a place on Monday morning. It's pretty close to here. I drove by the house on my way home tonight - and it looks really cute. Let's pray that the actual apartment turns out to be a quaint place too. Fabulous area attraction is the high school just down the street - although it might suck during the actual school year with so many kids running rampant...it has a great track in the back of the school...so i'm excited.

I purchased a bathing suit today. I drove ALL OVER this city...surprisingly with very little problems or hold ups. I'm not in love with the bathing suit...but i was seriously running out of options. I have this really cute bikini top from AE, that my mom bought me a month or so ago now...but i could never find the bottoms that fit me. This is how the mix and match SUCKS...i found a lot of tops that i liked, but they had no corresponding bottoms, or vice versa. So annoying. Anyway - it's a cute little two piece...just might not be the most flattering for my physique. But it's practical..and that's all that should matter.

VERTIGO. Yesterday at work, I was NOT feeling well at all. I don't normally get headaches. And when I do get them, it's usually just my warning sign that the worst is yet to come. I spoke about my vertigo before. I have been diagnosed with what appears to be genetic vertigo. My grandmother also has this problem. After that entire summer of testing, all of the specialists feel that Vertigo is my body's version of a migraine. Everyone in my family gets migraines, except me. But apparently I get vertigo. Anyway - yesterday I could not absorb information for the life of me. Shannon & Julie were giving me information about a simple location of a building and while they were both speaking to me, all I could say to myself is 'don't pass out, don't pass out....' cause i was feeling so naucious and dizzy. It was terrible. I took an advil (thank you a million times over Julie) (i don't like tylenol...only ibuprofen seems to help me in this one - don't ask me why, cause i have no reasoning) and Julie suggested I eat a freezie - to bring up my body's sugar level and also to re-hydrate sort of. I was heading back out onto the road for a bit. None the less, it made me feel a heck of a lot better and within a few hours, the dizzy spells were gone. What was REALLY strange was that when I got back, a friend of mine had typed out on my MSN that her Vertigo was acting up. I was like 'me too!'. So now i'm curious as to what might have been happening yesterday that threw us off. There might have been a quick shift in atmospheric pressure or something. Anyway, i'm curious as to what people who experience vertigo are sensitive to, if we both seemed to have shared a similar experience yesterday.

SOFTBALL. Last night was I would say the third official game of our season. Blue team (us) started off strong - taking a three point lead off the first inning. Then again, when red came up to bat...they made it like 6-3. In the end, we tied 11 all. I was very sad about my playing yesterday. I struck out THREE times. What is that? Anyway, after the game, Nolan helped me practise my batting. There was this random gentleman who was behind the cage watching us. At one point he softly asked if he could give me a pointer. Now being in Moss park, we're getting used to the most random and off the wall comments. But he was fantastic...he was teaching me how to hold the bat and everything. And IT WORKED!!! I started hitting the ball well. I was so excited. Hats off to that man...

In other softball news. As our game began, some other guy from the bleachers decided he wanted one of our bats. he came into the fenced in area and took one and walked away. How do you stop someone from stealing a bat? They could just swing and hit you... Brave little Lisa tried after him. In the end, two of his friends (or at least fellow bleacher spectators) stopped him and returned our bat to us. Freaky. Three little boys joined us in our game last night too - it was really cute. They were really good too.

The Return of Zoom starts next week. We all got invites to the crew screening happening on Tuesday night. It's always nice to see movies for free. I'm desperately going to be movied out by Tuesday night...with the triple header at the drive in, high park's monday night screening and then Zoom. : p

Went to bulk barn today. Bought some candy (i know, and i was doing so well without it for the last few days...), dried apples and these sesame sticks (those flattish, roundish things). So yummy. I had forgotten about those things. I like the idea of the bulk barn type stores.

and that's about all i have to say about bulk.

I'm packing tonight. Then i'll probably go out later on. hugs.

oh my goodness. pass me the classifieds.

Aight people. I think it really is done for in this apartment.

It urks me for a few reasons...it's a cute place. But really, i miss the sun...and i would prefer waking up with sun shining through my windows... then again, i would like to have windows again. :p

The Friday night series, episode like 8. I come home and I do have new friends. Now, mind you, there weren't as many...but I think I was actually afraid to swat these guys.

Driving a friend home, I actually started to feel anxious about what I would find. It's always something new - for real. This time it was like GIANT flies. I don't know what else to call them other than mutant. They were loud and strippy (no they weren't bees...) but like BIG. I was scared for a moment - cause that was something I wasn't expecting. Last week was like the baby flies...then your typical house fly and now the giant fly....

So Viewit.ca is up. I mean, I could torture myself until I leave, but I hate coming home and dealing with this EVERY night. It's been fun...but it's time. (tear)

The sad part is that I love the area...but I don't think I can afford to find another solo place in the hood. I'll start really looking on Monday and if I feel it strong enough, the two month notice will go in then. I would ideally like to spend less money and start saving for my trip. (yay)

So laugh it up - one day, I won't have these stories anymore.

In other news. It was Shannon's last day in the office today. Actually, her and I will be working through the Hiatus next week, but no one else will be around. It was sad thinking about it. Jonathan will be jumping in after hiatus to take over the show. Fun times with J-dawg. Not the same, but will still be amusing.

I will miss all the laughs we shared for real between Julie, Shannon, Chris and myself. It's been fun.


NEW SIDEBAR. Gas prices. Driving to work, it was $111.9...tonight it was 107.7. yuck much? how did it seriously become okay to keep it that high.


Age. I'm really feeling my age lately. Yeah, I know I'm not old in the least, i'm only 25. However, I've become increasingly more aware of my age lately. The number doesn't bother me at all. It doesn't mean anything. After we shot the main unit of "The Storm", I was seriously feeling and looking like a 40 year old - with the extreme lack of sleep and healthy eating...you start to desperately age in your face. So i was stressed about that for a while. But it'll do what it wants to do - so I had to grin and bear it as my body started rebuilding itself. Anyway, all this to say that today was the clencher. I was on a liquor mission for the producers on my show. I had a list of beer and wine and such to pick up from the LCBO and the Beer Store. That's chill. It just looks like i'm stocking up for the long weekend or something. Anyway - I never get through the LCBO without getting carded. So I buy two enormous bottles of wine and some wine coolers (mission 1 part a - check). The lady didn't card me. I'm thinking 'cool...i didn't feel like taking that wallet out anyway'. Start grabbing my bags after our transaction is complete. The lady behind me is now in the process of her purchase, and right away she is asked how old she is. She was like 'i'm 23' and they went through the whole ID check. And the thing is that she looked way OLDER (or more mature?) than I did.

Didn't she? Am I starting to look 19??? Am I starting to look 26??? Cause they say if you look under 25 they will card you. And for the first time, I really pondered how I appeared in the eyes of other people.

Sad.

i'm going to apartment shop now.

Oh right - the other reason why it might be okay to rent another apartment is that I might actually be in Toronto for another 10 months (I KNOW!!! It's so long for me to think about it). The initial date was for February 12th...which was fantastic. But I might not have enough money by then (this is because the savings DROPPED when I was doing TS for free). So this other show called "Glimmer" might be coming through our head company - which would run from November through to May. WOW. That will surely help me save up enough money. But I can't leave in may cause Sandra will be getting married in June (the 16th I believe)...so I will be here through the wedding and possibly leave early the next week (18th through the 20th).

None the less, in the agenda I currently have, the date that I'm leaving is currently within it. So I'm simply excited about the whole idea of the departure. So it's okay that this is happening. I have to be okay with it. I'm working the position I'm in for the steady work and this will all help pay for my trip. So I have to smile through this. And I really am - cause for the first time in a long time, I'm blessed with a fantastic atmosphere. And that is VERY key in a workplace environment.

g'night.

I am a hunter...

Some people say it's the weather. I still call it the plague.

The flies sit waiting for me all day. I have become an expert tracker.

You know, 10 flies at one time in a WHOLE HOUSE is one thing. 10 flies chillin' out in my kitchen (my very small kitchen) is a whole other story.

And for the moment, these comics make me laugh.

Sad. Sad indeed.

Smiling, always smiling. Softball tomorrow. UFO sounds that only Dan & Tom can do (could it be that only boys can make it sound good?). The constant banter going around at the office. Long weekends. Tanner (one of the editor's puppies). The very strange perspective thing happening with that one condo building when you walk down the school's hallway.

Went bathing suit shopping after work. Flop. for many reasons. On a side swim related note, still can't find O'Neill rashguards at the Toronto stores. Should have thought about this when I was in Vancouver for real.

I'm in early tomorrow. long weekend's ahead. it's not going to be a fun weekend to be in the city NOR leave the city. it's one of those busy toronto weekends. some of us hope to escape to the drive in on sunday...

g'night.

ps - to all my LOVELY coworkers - especially the accounting department, I hope you all have a lovely day on Friday. Special shout out to Loose Maderski*, Abba Newion*, Schelhi Phurbin*, and Keith. :)

* Names have been changed to protect some persons involved in "A-Team vs Super FPA" blog case currently underway. Also one name was protected as the individual works with two others involved in the pending case...and we wouldn't want to make it OBVIOUS about who was involved inthe actual case. Also please note that Keith's name was not changed, however, to remain anonymous in the world of 'keiths', we have decided not to post his last name on this web accessible document. Thank you.

red means STOP in Canada. thank you.

Today was a day. Not the type of day you normally blog about. Yet, here I am talking to you.

A few things to note.

Tonight sucked as of 11.50pm. I dropped off Sue after LR (which was nice to be at). Started my drive home up Bathurst...up and down the little hills that decorate the street.

A reminder lesson in checking both sides of an intersection before driving through. I usually always check both ways before crossing an intersection while I'm driving. Tonight, however, I didn't pay enough attention to my left hand side. I was driving down a little hill, on the wet slick road, started to do the intersection check before going through MY green light, when suddenly the car on my right caught my gaze because he almost turned onto Bathurst (his red light, turning right) INTO MY LANE. So my attention was taken away onto him, as I had to make sure he didn't hit my car...when out of left field, a car ran through his RED LIGHT and JUST JUST JUST missed raming into the side of my car. Like my car JUST got through that part of the intersection when he barreled through. And by just, I mean inches from my rear bumper. He had no headlights on, and was travelling very fast. It was freaky. Had I been able to react to him, and not distracted by this other driver, I might have slammed on the brakes...and on the slick roads, who knows what would have happened. He probably would have hit me had I hesitated. UGH UGH UGH. Stupid drivers...seriously.

I'm not going to give too much credit to these Chevy Cobalts we drive for work. great to have a company car, but not the best in 'conditions' of any sort.

Anyway - that was kind of freaky...but it all happened within 3 seconds. Scary how quickly a very dumb driver can honestly wipe out other cars.

Walking down the driveway into my nook, it sounded like either someone was powerwashing their house's exterior or something. It sounded like a generator was running something big on the street just north of ours. We're talking about 12.10am here...not humane, thank you.

So I get home, right. Guess who is here to welcome me in!

That's right...about 9 big flies. YAY.

It will not end. Honestly, it just will not end.

I am no longer showing mercy to any spiders I find in my apartment...who at times, i thought would possibly help me with my bug problems by EATING the mongrols. That doesn't seem to be the case. So the spiders must go as well.

On happier notes...or less bothersome and gross. Some smiles I found hidden in the day.

1) Playing games with the OBL. (that's Office Bowling League) Chris and his Creme Saver bowling lanes. It was a slower day today...and when the internet was working, Chris msn'd me a link to a bowling game. I don't like playing games at work - cause that's just not right. Anyway, Shannon encouraged us to enjoy the calm moment. So we were going to play just one game. This thing was addictive. Next thing you know, Luz from accounting, joins in on the fun. It was funny.

2) How blue the lake actually looked today. It reminded me of the west coast almost. Although, I bet standing closer to it, you might have noticed the typical brown hue.

3) Seeing Julie P's kitty Oliver after driving her home after work. He was groomed today - and she invited me to see him. Anyway - he's like a mancoon (spelling?) cat, and when he started to do his version of 'meowing' he reminded me so much of Julie R's cat...and it made me miss Julie & York. (a happy kind of miss)

4) Laughing at the office. Always enjoying the company. Bugging Keith with the accounting ladies. : ) Shannon telling Chris and I how cute she thinks we are, cause we act like brother and sister. Losing paper, rock, scissors for like the 20th time. The randomness that is our office.

5) The rain. The temperature dropped like a ton of degrees tonight thanks to the weather shift. Amen. It was so unberably hot in my BASEMENT apartment last night!!! That is unusual. My heart goes out to the peops who were without air, circulation in general or on a higher floor level than myself - cause I can't imagine how gross it was for you last night. So yucky.

6) Scoring 2 free movie tickets. yay. :)
-----

Bothersome. How when I watched City TV deliver the weather today - they almost non-chalantly mentioned that we will be seeing severe thunderstorms and the 'usual tornado watches'. USUAL??? Trust me, I don't feel we (Toronto) are in the place to say that this is typical weather. ew.

Bothersome II. Watching an interview yesterday on Global's news with two guys who produced/directed a documentary that took them across the country to find out why people hate Toronto. Most people would say that they hate toronto, but couldn't exactly explain why. Who makes a movie about that? Ugh number 2.

Music: mix of the radio and SOAD's Toxicity album. Missed hearing it...but with being on the road so much today, I think i've heard it almost 4 times straight. Hence the mix with the radio.

like a wall

The heat waves have been non stop this summer. I am very much enjoying the fact that it has been a beautiful summer, however, this type of weather is not suitable for everyone in the city.

It was AT LEAST 48 degrees centigrade today, ladies & gentlemen. That's about 12 degrees of humidity there.

The type of weather that hits you like a wall when you step outside.

The type of weather that an air conditioner can't save you from - when a heat wave keeps going, AC almost begins to lose its affect.

I have nothing more to say about the day. It was a very sluggish day at the office. :p

I have skydiving pictures now from Goose, so I might be able to put up the whole story soon. However, it's been about a month now, so my details are a little shabby (sorry guys).

i'm eating and cleaning.

here's to a cooler tomorrow.

p.s. driving home last night, i passed by Ontario Place...which is all decked out for what I believe is a Lantern festival. There is a big asian celebration that has been setting up for the public...and it is simply beautiful at night. With all the lanterns, the dragons and the ornate buddhas all lit up. Worth a drive by.

night.