Spring like weather

The big question: will winter ever come this year? and if so, with what force?

Yesterday I wore a skirt and my Uggs (still breaking them in). It was so friggin beautiful outside - clear blue skies and warm (for winter, but in the ++++s)

The raptors won 124 - 123 against the Sacramento Kings. We led for most of the game, until the very end, where the refs were beginning to make crappy calls against our team. We were in our first overtime at 112 a piece, and with about 7 secs left, we scored a two pointer to take the lead. It's really nice when a game is so close - because the crowds really get into the spirit. This inflatable/suit raptor came onto the floor at one point and would make his inflatable jaw eat people's heads. That was fun. :) Definitely something you had to be there to see.

Next year, I definitely want to travel to Buffalo and catch an NFL game (would be awesome) and also check out Cornerstone this year. Crossing fingers. After this movie is done, I'd like to move back downtown and catch more concerts and games. Living at Y & E is great - the atmosphere and mood are amazing. Quaint area. But I like walking to my destinations, and I can really get into that if I were downtown again.

My writing is not very smooth tonight. A lot on my mind I guess, and out of personal writing practise.

We had our open cast call yesterday. The crowd was constant. We didn't see a single break until we closed the doors to the outsiders at 9pm. It was great, and I think that Todd was able to see some good talent, some actors really spoke the parts well. Tuesday is another 7-8hrs of slotted audition time at the Centre for the Arts, followed by call backs on Thursday. The process of auditioning is an interesting one - it's the first time you truly begin to see the script coming to play. You see where the story works and where adjustments in dialogue need to be made. Tomorrow I meet with Sheilagh again in regards to our SPFX makeup needs and also head out to Hamilton with some crew members as we do a night location scout. Since we're shooting 90% at night, it's almost best to see these locations at the times when we'll be shooting. Also a great part of pre-production is locking locations and visualizing the world of the film before you.

It's funny, cause film is a very unique and interesting field of work - and from the outside it looks so glamorous. My mother always tells me I lead such an exciting life and I laugh at her. I work from home and am on the phone/internet for 10-16 hrs/day working. It doesn't feel glamorous for me until we get to set. There, magic happens. It's a great journey from script to screen. There is something beautiful in creating a story that can touch so many people on so many levels. I am blessed to be where I am today.

I'm 25 years old - I love my job. That's a rarety. It hasn't been easy - and I've played many roles behind the scenes (i've truly loved every job and learned something new from each experience). I'm excited to see where this film will take me next. I am very excited for where tNtFILMS will be after the release of TS. Our crew is expanding every day it feels, and it's such a wonderful team that's being brought together for this production. A very strong contrast from the last production I was on. That being said, I miss the crap out of Julie and Jess, who I worked with side by side for several hectic months. (couldn't have done it without you, love you guys!!!)

It's very humbling to have the opportunity to work with such passionate and beautiful people.

The future just feels right, for the first time in a long time.

Nothing but smiles on my face, and strong faith in my heart. God is great! :)

You look like you want to be an investor...

Today was really windy. That's all I have to say about the weather. I don't understand why Canadians are singled out as being the only people to speak about the weather...would it not be the same in the northern parts of the US? Anyway, we are in a weird winter. Our movie has been pushed - now set to start Principal Photography on March 22/06 and who knows, winter might hit us right upside the head with a wicked blizzard. Okay, so I'm only half okay with going to camera in a wicked blizzard.

Ho hum.

So I got a phone message from my knee specialist the other day. He has my MRI results. Great. Apparently, I can avoid going under the knife for now...however, there is a tear. I don't know where. I only heard his message once and really quickly. I wanted to call him back to find out more. When I called the office the receptionist was like "oh, dr. hakoun is out of the office." I was like, aight, well I'm just returning his call for when he gets in next. She was like 'well, he's in Israel!'. Hmmm. Oh!? She asked me to book an appointment to see him - although, i don't have time for physio right now - and it's mega expensive in my neck of the words (go Y&E). I told her I would call back when I am able to figure out when I can meet with him. Yvette, the receptionist, was like 'well he's only back for three days in Feb. I'm getting curious at this point as to what this means. "Okay, is mid-February a good time?" "he's in the 13,14,15..." "where is he after that?" "Israel" "does he live in israel?" "yup".

Why am I getting referred to a doctor who doesn't live in Canada???? He works in Toronto 3 days a month. I'm telling you - I want his job. 36 days/year - that is a nice trade off for a medical profession. I remember seeing him the first time to be assesed about what my problems could be. He had me doing all these weird leg stretches. By the end of the day, I was prescribed orthotics (hella expensive), told my hips were hyper-extensive and that this was creating a great deal of pressure on my knees/posture....

I laugh. I was born with my legs behind my head - honest to God, my legs developped like that in my mother's womb. Yes, I was a tummy-cut delivery (i don't know how to spell cesarian). I needed physio therapy at birth. How fun is that? Could this simply have been my life-long fate? who knows. I mean, I think it's great - I abused my body with sports, especially kick boxing. No matter what, it's very hard on your body. I miss it terribly though, and am barely able to participate as much. I hope that with the physio prescribed, I'll be able to walk up stairs without pain and maybe even get back into martial arts. Running is long gone in my world - also very sad. But I can always walk/hike.

That's my knee for ya. And whoda thunk it about my doc.

I'm going back to work. We have open auditions this saturday - busy, busy. I love it. It's unbelievable, but I love it.

I bought a dollar's worth of 7eleven candy (all 5c pieces) yesterday, and it was left untouched for 5.25 hours. That is indeed an amazing record. I had some production meetings that kept my mind off the wonderful gummies. If you know me, and know how much I love the 1c / 5c candies, you'd be proud.

Hugs to the blog world out there reading this.

White snow blankets blue men

I love how snow looks when it's falling down. The best part is that it's usually not very cold, so you can go out and enjoy the playfulness of the beginning stages of snow/winter.

It's always nice to be inside with a warm cup of something watching it through a window too. Kind of like watching a thunderstorm in the distance - what an incredible creation weather is. I really think God made something beautiful with these phenomenons.

When you walk down Yonge Street, from Eglinton to College - you can't help but fall upon the "Blue Man Group" banners. I remember this one time I had to go do a pick up at ACTRA for a show I was working for, and they had made special pins that had a red cross over the Blue Man Group's name. It annoys me to NO END...this union mentality to try and kill a creative independent production. I had the wonderful opportunity to see the Blue Man Group with my parents, and it was one of the most unique and wonderful productions I've ever seen. I support them completely. Why should they be forced to become union members? So that ACTRA or whatever other union continues to boycott them can cash in on their success??? The greed of people is ridiculous. Honestly though, that a union goes through all the trouble to create boycotting pins and publishes stories in newspapers so that people do not attend their production, is the most ridiculous and childish thing I've ever witnessed. BMG was a great production and at the end - they collect money for a variety of charities that they feel called to support. I wish more people would show support for Non-Union productions. I truly feel that with non-union shows/films you can see a lot more passion for the medium and the art. I have many friends who are a part of the union, and I'm NOT saying that ALL union members are like this. Only that there is a trend in a union mentality - and I wish we could all support one another in the choices we make in terms of creative paths. Ugh.

I just cleaned out Aucky's cage - it's funny how confused animals can become when their home suddenly changes. That bed he's been building up for two weeks is now in the trash and he must start from scratch.

It's Sunday morning - I will go to work. I'm very close to releasing the Teal Computer into my home and actually charging it up. It's starting to grow on me.

MRIs and Teal Laptops

I want to make an effort to write on my blog as often as I can. Then I might get more consice with my story telling. I often write mega huge emails and say it'll be super quick - I just talk a bunch. Right now, I'm writing for myself I guess, since I haven't really announced my blog yet. : ) I'm shy.

There's been a series of happenings. The movie is going well - picking up steam - but somehow, I haven't mixed anything up yet. We are under two months to principal photography. Next Saturday, we have our open cast calls, followed by a different set of scheduled auditions on the Monday. It's going to be a very busy few weeks. We got stuff going on left, right and centre. Just all over the place, and it's amazing how at home I feel. This is where I belong. I promise to backpack soon, but for now, I must follow this path - God clearly shined light on it for a reason.

I went to MEC last week. I finally have enough money to buy my backpack - this Bora 75 series bag from Arc'teryx. It's like $390. Ouch. All gift certificates. I MIGHT buy MEC's Brio bag - it's only $109. I might be gone for so long that I need a heavy duty pack. But then again, maybe I need to only go on short spurts of trips. I simply have to decide pros/cons of each bag. But if I buy the Brio, i can also afford my sleeping bag and a tent. For those of you thinking I'm insane for even thinking about spending $390 on a backpack, you clearly don't know backpacking - please understand that to debate the financial issue, you might want to research both bags and the type of trip I will be embarking upon. :)

I found a travel pass that sounds fantastic too. I would fly out from the west coast, go to NZ, then be able to travel to Australia, Cambodia, India, through China, there are like 3 other destinations, Tokyo, then fly back and finish in San Francisco (wonderful, beautiful city - if you've never been there, plan a trip - well worth it!!!). Ideally, this is the trip I will want. Let's see if I can afford it when the time comes.

Anyway, both of those were side tracks to what I've been thinking about.

MRIs - ever have one? I just finished my second one on Thursday night. Originally I was supposed to have them, one day apart, at 2:45am on BOTH nights. What is that? So I called to reschedule - cause no TTC, female travelling alone, not so cool. My new times were 9:00pm and 10:00pm. Much better - but still strange how you can't go through the afternoon. These machines at Princess Margaret Hospital run 24hrs a day. Crazy. I had a good experience though. I met a bunch of people as I sat waiting in my fantastic wardrobe (gown). I was the only one on my first night who didn't get pants. Every man/woman got pants and a gown...and I was flying solo showing off the pale leggies. Oh well. The staff were wonderful both times - which usually doesn't happen for me in hospitals - it's usually rushed folks working way into the overtime hours and just grumpy (understandably - but it doesn't make it easy to be a patient!). MRI machines are so tiny!!! I didn't have to get my head in all the way because I was only doing my knees, but wow on the size of this tube. If you were a larger person, I honestly don't know how you might feel about going into one of these machines - quite uncomfortable. Anyway. My whole goal was not to move my knee. Sounds easy - except when you are trying not to move something, you're thinking about it, and generally you start having problems. My right knee kept twitching on me. That night was annoying. Apparently it only showed up on one frame, so I'm okay. So when I came in for my second knee I was really worried. They were about an hour behind and I didn't get in until 11pm. I get on the machine - they lock my knee in and shove all the padding to help in not moving (cause this tube like lock is huge compared to my scrawny let). And then they put a nice warm blanket on me so that I wouldn't get cold - cause there is a weird draft in that room. Probably cause some people get so anxious in this cramped space that they sweat a bunch. The nurses hand you this air pump ball that you can squeeze if you need help. So, on my second time there, I tried so hard not to think about my knee. I closed my eyes (cause there is this laser beam right at the entrance to the MRI tube and my eyes were right in its line of laser zapping) - and prayed about it. Then I just fell asleep. The male nurse made me jump when he was pulling me out of the MRI cause I didn't know it was over. Anyway. It's funny how the machines work - you get ear plugs or headphones - and it's just a series of loud clacking. I kind of liked it - cause at least you knew when it was taking the pictures - so if you had to move, you would know to go on the silent moments. The sounds must increase terribly once your head is in the tube though.

So this is the final step in finding out what's wrong with my knees. Outside of the fact that the sports medicine guy says my hips are hyper-extensive and pop too easily in/out of the proper joint area. My knees are really being affected by this and the years of abuse in sports. If my dad is 50 and on the verge of needing new knees - I don't want to know what's in store for myself. But if it helps and allows me to finally climb up stairs without excrutiating pain - I'M IN!!!

My blog entries are long - cause I think a lot - and I like to just get it out of my head. And if you are actually reading this, you must be even the slightest bit interested in my life. :)

I was walking to Staples yesterday with Malcolm to go buy my new laptop (my first ever new computer!). When we cut through this alley, I noticed pussywillows growing on the trees. Oh oh. I mean, winter is still going to eventually arrive - even though it was like +11 yesterday???? But what does that mean to our flora? Will it not spring up once the real spring arrives. I'm a little concerned that our trees/flowers won't grow or sprout the same this year. The ones in Toronto at least - they are confused. : (

The laptop. The teal laptop. I finally found a computer I want. My MACtop is dying on me and I need to stop hogging Malcolm's desktop. So I finally decided on this Toshiba Satellite M70-SR2. Great. On Monday I made sure the Staples had a bunch for sale. On the Friday, I actually went in to buy it. It wasn't on the internet anymore - which made me worried. So I phoned a location (which is just a nightmare in itself - cause you can never reach a computer person unless you go through customer service - and if you do go the computer department route - you always get the answering machine, and there is no way that they ever call you back 'within 24 hours' ALL LIES!!!). They said they had 2 left, and that their price had dropped. By $200.00. Stellar. I'm down with a deal like that. I loved everything about this computer - up until about 5 mins before I bought it - and noticed it had a TEAL cover. Who designed this??? All the toshibas at the store had this crappy colour to it. I mean, any other color - but worse is on the internet - it's advertised with an image that is clearly BLACK covered! I ended up buying it, but i'm simply studying it. I need second opinions. I don't know if I like it's inappropriate colouring. When we finally took it out of the box when I got home - it was more green than I actually saw at the store. Bummer. I mean to me, it's a great story for down the road - "I had a teal computer" but for now - what a bummer. Everything about it is wonderful - should I really let the colour bother me this much? I should post an image and get some opinions. Maybe I will.

That's my story compilation for now. There's more. I always have something to say. But I'll try to write shorter entries from now on. I guess details tend to bore people. However, I have been told that I write exactly how I talk - so it makes some people in my life feel good when they read my emails cause it's as if I were right there chatting away.

I'm going to assess my laptop again. peace for now.

Everyone should have a pet...

it's true. I realized this when I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day. My mind cannot relax, it's constantly flowing with things to do in preparation of this movie. And if you know me, when thoughts flow as much as they are now, the post it notes come out and pile up. Mostly repetitive stuff, but the moment it's out of my head and onto a simple piece of partially re-stickyable paper, I feel at peace. Anyway, I love what I'm doing with work, but you definitely need a break from this mental traffic jam.

That's where pets come in. I wish I had a puppy. I have always wanted a puppy, and I can't wait for the day when I return from my travels and finally buy my first puppy. I was only allowed to have fish growing up. I tried to talk my parents into allowing me to own almost every imaginable pet out there. Allergies in the family limited the idea of a cat/dog, they didn't want any furry pets for fear that the allergic parties would react, i wasn't allowed to have a turtle because i was told they carry diseases. My life as a pet owner seemed unattainable.

I am persistent though. My sister and I found slugs one day at the end of our driveway and we were so excited (we were young back then). We had never seen a slug before. So we collected them inside my 'bug bucket' toy I had from my grasshopper collecting days. We proudly went to show them to a friend in the neighbourhood. Along the way, we ran into a snake swiggling across the road. So we dumped the slugs and collected the snake. Mom didn't like that in the least. Then I had a pet snail. That was boring. He had an entire fish bowl to himself and did nothing. Actually, one day it had a gazillion babies. That wasn't fun, so I let them go in the backyard. I tried to convince my parents to buy me a newt. My dad's response 'write a report on the life of a newt covering all necessary stages of life and it's popularity as a pet, and then we can talk about it'. That's my dad for ya. He probably didn't say them in those exact words, but almost. I was probably only 10 at the time and dumbfounded by this request. So finally, I got a fish. He passed away in 6 months and I was devastated. For some reason I decided to get 8 more fish to make me feel better. They all died pretty close to one another. I had this rock where they could swim into and hide, and they all chose that they should go hide in there and die. Every day a new one passed away. We used to burry them in the backyard under the deck in their own make-shift coffins. When the death toll rised, they all got shoved into the same urine sample bottle (my mom is a nurse - hence the bottles) and mass buried. Hmm. I don't think I got another fish until University. My friend Sarah and I went and each bought two goldfish. The next morning, one of hers had died, that night one of mine had died, the next morning her other one died, and fatefully, that evening my last one died. The middle stall of our rez floor's bathroom became fish heaven, and I blame Toronto water for their unfulfilled lives. My next fish lived in Brita water. Sarah bought me another betta one year. I can't remember why, but I know it was a super nice gesture. I might have been having a bad moment in life and this was a cheer me up gift. (friends rock for knowing when a cheer me up would be amazing!) He lived with me for like 2 years, until I sent him home to die in my parent's home in North Bay. He was super sick for so long, and I was so busy with school, I knew I wouldn't be able to take care of him.

Then I bought Aucky. Our adorable dwarf hamster. He is about 7 months old now, and will expire within the year (their life expectancy is capped at 1.5 years). He is my first pettable pet ever. And I love that!!! He's like a mini puppy for me. His full name is Auckland McLaughlin (he has malcolm's last name). When he began to grow a lump on his tummy, I began to worry as hamsters are prone to tumors. So I brought him into the Super Pets to inquire about his situation and that's when we found out he was a boy. :) Yeah, trust me, you can't tell on a dwarf hamster. We were told he had cancer, and he became known as the cancer hamster. Sad. Then one day I found out that it was his male scent gland (only found on dwarf hamsters). So that's good, he's not imminently going to pass on.

This HUGE post just to say that everyone should have a pet. When I was on the phone with my mom I felt at peace because Aucky was sitting on the couch beside me and just fell asleep as I pet him. It brings great peace, and everyone needs moments of great peace in their lives. Help someone you know, buy them a puppy. :p

Starting points...

Starting points scare me. I was talking to a friend last night about how I have a blog set up, but I have yet to post a single word. I have this issue with starting out 'journal' type items. I want to start them out just perfectly. I am a notebook fanatic. I have no idea why. I keep buying these notebook and journals cause they look so interesting and I want to use them to catch glimmers of my life story or personal thoughts. They have become more like collector items. They sit on the shelves, perfectly intact, without a word within. And it's all cause I don't know how to start them off. Maybe it's just me. I think it's actually funny. But it doesn't help my notebooks serve their purpose.

Oh well. Anyway, so this is my blog. Welcome to me. I'm a pretty average person. I actually started this blog for my travels. But they won't be starting for a while, so I figure I should get family/friends used to the idea of hearing about my life through a blog. It's the 4th day of 2006. This will be probably a very transitional year for myself. Things are changing and I'm ready to grow from every experience I am about to embark on. Sometimes I get worried about what lies ahead, but then I remember that no matter what, I'm not alone. And no matter what I do or say or think, God still loves me and really wants this year to be good for me too. :) That's comforting.

I'm in pre-production right now for my first feature film. I'm one of the producers (along with the two executives from tNt films - Todd n Tore). It's my first time undertaking such a task, and it can actually be scary at times. I'm with a team of very amazing people and we all want to see this project through the end and we all want to see it succeed. It's really nice to be back with independent filmmakers once again. It's refreshing.

Right after this film is done, I'll be zapping my eyeballs and trying to regain proper vision. I am someone who would talk anyone out of this surgery years ago, but then one day I woke up and decided that this is what I am going to do, and now I can't even talk myself out of it. I know that once I'm out there backpacking, that this will be such a relief. To open my eyes and see clearly would be awesome. :) Thank goodness for the office who provides Valium to patients who need them.

I am going to go now. Don't miss me too much. Now that my blog has been deflowered, I'll be able to write more about the world around me.