Back to the city

I look forward to the day where I can wake up every morning and walk out of my house and step onto my very own dock and sit by the water and take in the view around me. I dream of building a cottage someday and making it my retirement home. How inspiring can it be to wake up every morning and take in a world that feels like it was made just for you. You can feel alone on a dock by the lake - when the rest of the world has yet to wake up.

I spent some time sitting alone on the dock on Saturday, well sitting beside the red eyed white owl... and it was amazing. I tried to read from Mere Christianity but I simply couldn't pull myself away from this moment. The sun was about 2 hours from setting, it was windy and cold - but you could almost forget that you were cold. I was so happy to be sitting there and appreciating this moment away from Toronto. That moment reminded me exactly why I want to live away from the city. Your soul feels calmer. I really just spent my time talking with God and having a real conversation with Him, unplagued by travelling thoughts that pull me away from Him. It was just the two of us.

I sometimes wonder what He wants for me. I was coming home from church yesterday on the subway listening to Vineyard's "This is the Air I breathe" and praying. There are things going on in my life that are really confusing and I feel that He is trying to point me in one direction and then I question if that's just me misreading a sign. And then comes patience - for His true word and desire to shine through. Something I think I'm getting better at is listening to what He wants. We live in a world where immediate reward or confirmation is what we crave - we want everything now. But that's not how He works. Sometimes He takes His time and truly tests and strengthens our patience and character. It takes time to see things in the right light - along the way impatience can play with light and show a side we weren't intended to see. I love questioning what I am meant to do in a moment. I sit there and talk with Him about moments He is putting before me and I know that when I pray to find guidance - sometimes He is just smiling back at me with no response. And all I can do is smile back. I pray through the entire situation until I realize that it doesn't matter - that I'm reading into every moment that I'm living like there is a clue for every thing else that will follow. Every thing serves its purpose in due time. And it's incredible to think that in two years from now - I might look back at a moment that I will live in two days from now - as the turning point in my life. Who knows. Yesterday something might have happened that will shape my tomorrow without my awareness. Ten months ago I was guided to choose a path that led me to my today - and without which things would have shifted tremendously.

I know I'm talking all over the place now. But that's what's inside my head right now. Fun, eh? :)

I want to give big thank yous to the gang at the cottage this weekend. I had a really great time. Even though it was a short trip - it was just what I needed. It truly made a difference - a great way to jump start my week. I went up with a friend of mine from Freedomize and a few of his good friends. Good laughs, good fun and great company. From ice cream eating, momentarily owning a very well trained dog, exploring abandoned cottages, chilling by the hammock on the hill, playing cards, watching films, 20 questions, trying to star gaze through the clouds, meeting new friends and speaking from the heart, sharing life moments and praying through life as you spend a moment alone - being there was a blessing. So thank you to all of you who made it what it was. Thank you for making me feel at home - you are all amazing people!!

We got back in Toronto just in time for church last night - lucky for us I think the sermon started late (just past 5.30pm). It was really great to see a lot of people who I wanted to catch up with at church last night. Spent some time at the end talking to a lot of people. Signed up for my first (and sadly last) Freek Out camping experience. :) Should be a ton of fun. Bless the Stouts for being the answer to our prayers as their plans to attend a wedding had guaranteed that our summer shoot could NOT be on that weekend and that we could all partake in the Freek Out experience. I'm sorry that the Stouts are unable to join us however. :(

Freedomize is the first church community I have ever belonged to - and I absolutely love it here. :)



The FIFA World Cup

I have great respect for Soccer players. I honestly believe they are among the best athletes out there - as they are probably the only sport that truly spends all their time on the field running back and forth and playing hard. It really is a respectable sport. The FIFA World Cup is underway in Germany as we speak. Now, I must say that I'm not a big fan of soccer. I absolutely love playing the sport - but have never really been a fan of watching it on tv. I've always been bothered by the rioting that has plagued the sport on the fan level - and from this I was never really keen on becoming a fan. This may sound like the most ridiculous reason not to watch the sport, but as a kid it always really bothered me. A lot of my friends are fans however, one of my best friends is absolutely in love with the sport - and I know she's probably cheering on France as we speak (she is originally from Paris). I can imagine she has their flag hanging out of her production vehicle right now. : )

To all of my friends who never felt as though I supported their love of the game, I must admit I'm currently watching a game right now (Australia vs Japan). It's the only game I get (on TSN). I'm actually quite enjoying it. Who knows where this will lead? I might end up actually watching a live game when I head out to New Zealand. I know for sure I'll get into Rugby, but I hear that NZ has a Soccer team. NZ isn't playing in the World Cup this time around - so I don't even know who I could root for. And so ends my WC Soccer story.

Begin tangent. Aight - the coolest crowd commercial just aired on TSN - with a stadium full of spectators who use the flip cards to show designs - they poured a Budweiser beer and drank it. You know - I wonder how much of that was computer animated now - because they used to actually do these type of images for real. But with the advent of technology - there is room to expand and make things look cooler. End tangent.

Game: Australia 3 Japan 1 - Final score. :) I think I found a team to support. If Canada is not playing, then my next choice would be NZ, but since they're not playing - Australia is a close third. :) Go Australia! (although, i don't know how strong of a team they are - and I know for a fact that some of the S. American teams and European teams are rock solid).



To add to my nicknames post from last week.

Thought of another nickname of mine - HCB. I am one of three members of this self inflicted group. Shout out to Heather and Hannah (luv you guys) who make up the rest of the party. We were dubbed the 'hard core bitches' because of our never failing attitude and our ability to stand up in the face of danger. We represent more the 'Hard Core' part. But since it was our own infliction, we called ourselves the Bitches. I can guarantee that I don't think any of us are of that nature, however, I cannot speak for everyone.

Also - team nicknames I've carried during frosh week include - 'Small but Mighty' and 'The Dundass Dudes'. Note: on both of these years, my dear friend Sandra and I were together as frosh leaders supervising our posse of Frosh - and on BOTH years we came out ON TOP. We absolutely won in our third year's scavenger hunt (along with another leader Jen) - AND we were the smallest team. In our fourth year - it was a photo scavenger hunt - and our 'Champagne Room' photo rose to NUMBER ONE!!! I can honestly say that I had a blast being a frosh leader every year and absolutely miss the teams we worked with. MAC was a blast.

I'm also slowly racking up a plethora of nicknames from a certain Killer Kidiri. I am in a nickname battle through emails at the moment (which semi brought about the whole nickname post). I will keep you posted as I earn more names through the upcoming months. Who knows, this one could go on for a long time. :)

Last nickname to note - Lambchop. Given to me by Mr. Jattan on the Pillsbury 10 day shoot. I absolutely miss my bud Ricardo - and hope to catch a glimpse of him either here in Toronto or if we have a chance meeting in New York.