I forgive you...

Bell, Canada.

Despite the years of torturous 'customer service'. Despite the ignorant phone operators that I've had to sit with for HOURS on end throughout my 8 years of renting services from you. Despite the constant billing issues from past accounts. Despite your attempts to bill for unused services - which seems to be your forte. Despite all the problems, even though you put your "customers first".

I forgive you, corporate phone overseer. I understand that it's not your fault that you are the largest communications company in Canada. You're probably just adjusting to the fact that you grew to be so big. We, the customers, will be here allowing you to adjust as we wait for you to smile once again.

I forgive you for being Bell Canada.


And breathe - That feels better.

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We had a great sermon on Sunday about Forgiveness. (Matthew 18) Mind you everything about church on Sunday was amazing. Colin lead the one-man worship - with his guitar and kick. David preached. We were on setup/tear down. And it was a gorgeous day.

But the sermon was fantastic. Something that every person in the room could relate to. Whether is was a positive influence or bore a negative reaction. The reality stood there - we all need to learn to forgive. Every corner of darkness in our lives, no matter how dark, requires our attention and focus. At some point or another.


David posted a definition on the projector for us. Although, I can't quite remember who the author of the definition is.

"Forgiveness is agreeing to bear the consequences of another person's sin against me, without holding it against them."

A simple scenario. Someon has done something against you - whether it was something they said, or something they did. This event/action has a negative effect on you - it hurt you, lead to something else hurting you (physically or emotionally). Forgiveness means basically - you cannot claim revenge on this person who did you wrong, you cannot hate the person who did you wrong, and you cannot make the person who did you wrong pay for what they did. Forgiveness means that you cannot hold them in the wrong. Forgiving someone is the ability to free your heart of the darkness that this person's actions/words may have caused for you. You cannot bear the hurt - it is something that they must carry. It's the act of freeing your heart of the darkness.


The hardest thing in the world to do properly - for everyone I would imagine, is forgiving... everything. Including yourself. Yet, this act is the most important in so many ways.

Confronting your past. Making peace with your past.

Forgiveness. To forgive someone does not mean that you must allow them to hurt you again. You can protect yourself from their words, their actions, their presence. And protect yourself you must. But moving on in life. Freedom of the past. Releasing anger, frustration, hurt.


Breathing.


To breathe again.


My debt to God is unimaginable. Matthew 18's parable of the unmerciful servant is a reminder of this debt. I thank God every day for giving us His only Son, who bore all of our sins upon that cross that one day.

And because of this, I can breathe. A little easier. I still must stand up and learn to forgive a little more with every passing day. Until I can freely offer forgiveness to all those hurts, all those shadows, all those tears.

But my goodness, how good it is to know how loved you are. To know that you are forgiven by Him.

It makes me want to wake up in the morning.

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We enjoyed a very lovely dinner at the Kit Kat Club after church on Sunday. That's the one on King Street with the two cow halves jetting out of the building.

Just Brent and I. And it felt like we were the only two people in the room. It's funny how you honestly can tune out an entire world around you.

Great place. Very cozy. It can pull off the uber romantic theme, or just chilled out vibe. The wait staff was great. The decor was fun. And there is a wishing tree that grows through the restaurant.

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I woke up Monday morning to the sound of ice pellets hitting my window. You have no idea how overjoyed I was. After thanking God that i didn't have to be driving on the roads (which is the first time in a long time in a silly snowfall). I rejoiced in the beauty of what winter is. I was so excited for the season to finally arrive. To go skating, to go toboganning, to have a snowball fight.
Mind you - i had a snow ball fight (mini) two Sundays ago. I would say that I lost, cause my first snowball missed, and the second one was stolen from me. But it was fun.

I love winter.

Especially when the season finally allows for the snow to remain on the ground.

I'm buying ice skates after dinner tonight. For my date with the Fraynes this Saturday.

Also, this saturday, i'm attempting, with the few pots that i own, to make my mother's ribs and potato salad.

Yummy.

AND - i hope to make my first trek down Bayview this Saturday with my backpack. Maybe. If not - next Saturday for sure.

And - I still haven't heard anything from the union. It's Wednesday. I am praying that they call me today - but it's already 3.16pm.

Glimmer goes to camera on January 29th.

oh - and finger - it's doing fine. Hurts a TON. But it is healing. I might not even really scar - which in the end, is something you almost want - the 'war wound' as I like to call it. Proof that an incident occured. A reason to tell a story. I guess if i don't scar, i'll always have this blog. :p

AND - my BBH pamphlet came in the mail today. The planning is a happening. Quickly.