Sooooooooooo windy

It's nights like this that make me wonder why we are all going to be shooting a movie in the dead of winter, exterior, nights in Hamilton?

I just got home and am very happy and appreciative of the warm interior. I can still hear the wind violently playing with bins on my landlord's deck above our door. It's not as bad as this morning when i could barely walk because the wind was so strong. It's intense what weather can do - I do not want to be around when the end of the world comes. Compared to that, this is peanuts.

I just got back from a movie. I spent some time with my friend James, who for the second time, left the country for a week long trip and I just found out about it. It took a month for me to find out he had gone to Tokyo, and tonight - he just got back from Cuba and I never even knew he left! Friends are funny sometimes. I love hearing when someone is going away on vacation - I get so excited for them. The idea of getting on a plane and exploring a different part of the world. It's just amazing. And to think, 200 years ago, there weren't any airplanes! The idea of travelling around the globe was not the same. Everything feels so accessible.

Anyway - we went to see Brokeback Mountain. Even though there could be a lot to say (pro/con) about the movie (especially the adorable sheep), one thing struck me the most - how intensily I connected to the relationship between both Heath's character and Jake's character. Lately, I feel absorbed in relationship discussions. On our message board for Freedomize, the girls have had an ongoing discussion about dating within the church, which has now moved onto a public board for the boys to input their views. And today, I just feel like I've been a part of so many different conversations about my take on relationships or just relationships in general. We were created to become a couple, so its a very universal topic. It's just been great though.

Maybe no one will share my opinion about this movie, but there were points where I just felt their emotions and my stomach was turning in knots with their pain. And I think it's because the way the relationship between the two men was - is the type of intensity that I want. Their extended separations drew them together so much stronger with each meeting, and I don't wish that upon true love in real life. There was just something so beautiful about the story. When Heath Ledger's character was in Jake's character's bedroom and he took the shirts that were tucked inside one another and just held it so close to his body (i get the fact that some people will think it's almost cheesy) but it hit me so hard. I was sitting there wanting that strength in my own relationships. I was craving that love - the type that true love can bring to your life. He loved his 'friend' so much and his pain was so 'real' (yes, i get that it's a movie). I don't think I can word it properly right now. I thought about it for too long, my words are escaping me.

I knew I wanted to rent this movie when it finally came out - but seeing it on the big screen was great - only because of the amazing backdrop (shot in Alberta!!!). The mountains and greenery were amazing. Re-affirmed my desires to live on the west coast. I can't wait until I can wake up every morning and go for a jog along the ocean staring at the mountains. If you've never driven the Pacific Coast Highway - plan it for your next trip. It's just an amazing drive. Anyway - so I got all excited by seeing these mountains.

i'm waking up in like 2 hours to start at it again - so i better go to bed. if this blog seems off beat - it's cause it's 3am and i shouldn't still be awake (almost 24hrs).

side note - gotta remind myself about IWALYA. James and I were talking about all these quirky stories from our pasts. I just laugh when I think of how long I've been on this planet - and the fun stories that I keep filed away in my head. When you least expect it, something will trigger a memory to say hello - i find them to be really nice surprise smiles in your day. :)

again with the nostalgia.