genuine

Last night, a good friend and I went to go see the movie "Paranormal Activity". We like watching scary movies together - and somehow decided to watch this in the theatre. Neither of us knew very much about the movie - nor had seen the trailer for the film.

Where do I begin to comment on this horror genre gem. And I do call it a gem.

This film took two unknown actors (always a good idea with scary movies) and presented a genuine, real, relatable couple who displayed raw emotions as they tried to capture footage of the strange activities that have been taking place inside their house since moving in.

This is not a ghost story. Which is probably what made it far more intense. My friend Anton says it best - this movie dealt with demons, which is something that not a lot of people like to touch upon. It has been done before, yes, but I do not believe I have seen a demon-themed movie with such a compelling and raw emotional pull as you see in this movie with these characters. Scary movies that more closely resemble real life events are more often then not about ghosts, where as demons are generally found in sci-fi type scary movies. Movie monsters. But this is closer to something like an exhorsist movie.

After watching this film, I would take a ghost over a demon any day. Ghosts = humanistic element, can be neutral or intrusive in a character's life; Demon = think the worst, but it's not human, and it's not going to remotely be friendly.

As an audience member, you take on a voyeuristic stance as you watch the footage unfold with the camera locked in its spot at night, and then again as it travels around the house with the characters during the day, providing a glimpse into their relationship, and offering their reactions to the increase in activity in their house. The characters, asleep in their bed on the right hand side of the screen, are sometimes oblivious to the events unfolding at night through their house. If they weren't woken up, you simply watched the activities captured on film while they slept soundly. Micah would review the footage every day - and unveil his findings with Katie.

The worst part of this type of horror? There is nowhere to run. Talking about demons or ghosts - there are no limits as to where they can go. You can't hide under your bed, you can't shut a door in its face, you can't even see the darn thing. The only thing these characters could have done was leave their house and hope that the demon did not follow them...

so truth be told, you can run, but you can't hide.

At least with a serial killer, you can slam a door in its face, climb out a window to safety and hop a fence into a neighbour's yard or something...

You watch over the characters as they sleep at night, praying that nothing will happen to them, but knowing that when the clock in the bottom right hand corner starts to tick away in real time, that something is about to go down. During the day, you witness the toll that the hauntings are taking on the characters as they start to lose sleep as things get worse.

As the nights progress in the movie, obviously you see the paranormal activities intensifying. By night 15, you hate your life and don't want to watch another thing because you know it's only going to get worse. And it does.

***SPOILER ALERT***

I think it was night 20 when Katie is pulled out of the bed by an unseen force. Her terror - believable. I don't think I can say enough about the two lead actors. They were the perfect cast for this film. Their relationship was sincere and honest, the way they reacted to one another when they were scared was 100% how i would expect the people in my life to react - and in fact, I saw myself in Katie at one point when she shushed her boyfriend sitting in bed - when all he did was rustle the sheets - but she was listening so intensely at the noises in the house, that little sound that he made was too much for her - as it drowned out what she was straining to listen to, and almost hope would just stop.

Just creepy. Everything - from the simple sounds in the kitchen to the dramatic and intense interactions to the powder on the floor. The powder.

The moments where she is standing by the bed and simply watching over her boyfriend's body for hours on end - it was soooo intense. The last time she walks down those stairs in a very controlled and catatonic fashion, and the moments caught on tape where Micah is startled awake by the most intense, real and blood curdling screaming, you're dreading the moment where you find out what happens in the living room. You don't want to know. And you feel a sense of protection because the camera is locked on the tripod in the bedroom - so you don't have to follow them downstairs.

Silence.

Okay - so the very last thing that happens on camera will come across as cliche, but when Micah's body is thrown into the camera, that was intense!

At the end of the movie, a bit of laughter in the theatre started to roll through the crowd. But none of the laughter felt genuine. The chuckles were every bit uncomfortable and coming from a place where you just wanted to know that everything was okay and that this could not happen to you.

After a nice evening stroll following the movie and some 7-Eleven 5 cent candies, I went home. And no one was home when I got there.

Let's just say, I searched the apartment, turned on some extra lights and sat in the living room trying not to think about this movie. Haunting images and scenes.

Kudos to the film makers who let it be just a documentary-style film. At the beginning, a screen thanking the police and families for use of the footage (to make it come across as a true story). At the end, a screen explaining the situation that you just witnessed and one screen only of credits.

Well done.

You don't get to see films that often that make you appreciate this genre anymore. This was an interesting version. Simple. Very effective.

Just please, don't make a sequel!

With one fell swoop...

...summer was over.

After almost an entire month of dry gorgeous weather, one little rain storm changed it all. This rain was nothing like that one day where the city was being overshadowed by funnel clouds. The day that saw me running for safety from the onslaught of the flood barelling from the sky. This was just a fall rain shower. But from that moment on, the temperature had dropped and fall was upon us.

I will miss wearing my capris and flip flops outside until the weather starts to turn in about 6-8 months. But I love fall.

At least the beginning of fall. When the leaves start to change on the trees and a light jacket helps you cope with the cooler temperatures. Maybe even mittens on a frosty morning. Fall - when the sun still glistens through the leaves on the trees, flowing as the wind blows through the city.

Walking along College street the other day, I enjoyed my time observing the night life. It couldn't have been later then 8pm, but the sun sets by 6.30pm these days. The crisp air was enough to keep you alert but appreciate the warm sweater hugging your upper body. People darted around the street at a quicker pace, bundled up and sheltering themselves from the new temperatures. We still need time to adjust our inner body thermometres before being able to accept the cooler weather. All a part of the ritual as we slowly adjust to the arrival of winter. In the winter months, days like these will be distant dreams we aspire to see again.

With every side street I passed, the wind would pick up and leaves would flutter along the sidewalk, the sound of scratching filling the air as their rigid bodies flank the pavement. Many trees are still holding tight to their leaves, unable to embrace the change of season just yet. Soon enough the trees will shed their spring time growths and the skeletal remains of its trunk and limbs will stretch out awaiting the snow.

Fresh snow on bare trees is a treat in the winter.

Standing outside on our balcony, I wait with anticipation as the tree that stands between our apartment and the view of downtown slowly reveals a little bit more of the CN tower with every passing day.

The changing of the season. The changing of the moods of those within the city. I will walk the streets and observe those around, appreciating the little changes that appear on our streets as the summer bows down to the fall.

Is God your GPS?

I was chillin' out in Christie Pitts last night with a friend of mine. It's been so long since I've been to that park. It was a beautiful evening. The weather was spot on - not a cloud in the sky. Not too hot, not too cool. Enjoyed looping around the park area, following the labyrinth in and out of the middle, finding a quiet spot on the hillside and watching the baseball game taking place under the field lights, a small crowd of devoted fans speckled through the stands and up the hillside.

We spent our time catching up and talking about anything and everything. Eventually we got onto the topic of making decisions in life and if they are the right ones or whatnot, and ultimately the idea of regret.

Now, I'm a Christian. I only really came into my faith by choice when I was 23. I was raised in a Catholic household, went to catholic schools my whole life up to and including high school - but mainly because all the french schools were catholic in earlton & north bay, but I had some bad experiences with the Catholic faith - or at least the parishes that we attended. And it was enough to make me feel empty and really uninterested in continuing a life that felt more like a routine then a true worship of God.

ANYWAY - so at 23, I started attending Freedomize Toronto and through my experiences at that church and in God's time, I found a personal relationship with God.

All that just to explain my following analogy. God is the creator and center of my life. What I do every day - He knows. He sees. He smiles at my triumphs, He frowns at my mistakes, but He forgives and loves unconditionally. And in return, I am called to do the same! It's such a beautiful relationship - and anyone can have that relationship with God, which is simply incredible!

So when my friend (who is also a Christian) and I were chatting about mistakes of the past, I told him that the best way to look at how God treats our regrets, past mistakes and ultimately our free will - is by thinking about a GPS. And in my case, I picture my parent's GPS. The broken thing that calls drives (shortened to dr.) - doctors, and mumbles and mispronounces to a great point of amusement while listening to the darn thing. The same GPS that tells you to drive 300m then pull a u-turn, and if you don't listen, shortens the distance and encourages you to drive 200m then pull a u-turn.

So this classic robotic female voice tries to get you from A to B. And you listen and try to adhere to the path she has chosen. Then - oops - you miss a turn, or by choice (because you aren't controlled by the GPS, it is only a guide) chose to go straight instead of turning right. The next thing your GPS will probably do is say "recalculating". And the computer reassesses your route and tries to give you new coordinates and a new path to get you back on the right track.

That's basically what God does. Sort of. He gave humanity the Word. The most read book on this planet, the Bible. In it, you will see the story and the history of humanity. The good, the bad, the miraculous. It is essentially our guide. Our GPS. Here, laid out in every language possible, the Word of God is before our eyes. All we have to do is read it, contemplate it, understand it, and apply it.

But being humans, we also have free will. We aren't tied down to anything so to speak (except maybe gravity - but astronauts would disagree). We can choose whether or not we want to follow the Word or step away from God. We can choose to love our neighbour, or support gossip groups. We can choose to be a light in another's life, or put them down and take away joy.

Being humans, we aren't perfect. No one walking this earth's surface is. And through our lives we will faulter. We will fail ourselves, fail our families, fail our friends, fail our work, fail our community and fail strangers. BUT, we are always loved, always cherished, always forgiven for our sins! With that hope, we pick ourselves back up and do good in the world.

In this way, God is kind of like a GPS system. He sees a great future for each and every one of us - a path so to speak. We try hard to follow it, but sometimes try to take short cuts cause they looked like fun or looked really scenic, or we make wrong turns. When you fall off the route, your GPS isn't going to bail on you - your GPS is going to help you find your way back home. God will look at where you are in your path's diversion, and get you back on track as soon as possible.

that's a promise He brings to us.

He is always recalculating our steps. So that following our path will ultimately lead to love, to blessings, to happiness, to Him.

Beautiful!

Un-Official Hiatus begins today

I have a pile of post it notes that contain stories and tidbits of my life that are anxiously awaiting to be posted online. I also live my life day to day, and don't write about it anymore.

I've been too busy lately. Planning this trip. Prepping this trip. Thinking about this trip. Blogging about this trip. And then living the rest of my life.

So, I have run away from my original blog for a little while. I'll try to update it a few times before I leave...but my focus truly is on my other blog. If you're interested - let me know and I'll send you a link. :)

Thanks to the readers. Worst case - I'll say good bye at the end of July for a one year hiatus!!

Peace.

Boxing by candle light.

We just gased up. Prior to that, a big grocery shop. The fridge was freshly packed with fresh meats and cheese, fruits and juice. Cupboards were filled to attend to any craving. It was a special weekend.

Red (my first car, passed down to me by my mother upon her adoption of her new (now 5 years old) blue car) was safely taking us to Square One. My sister had never been there before.

Highway driving in the summer. Those moments that make you want to run away to the west coast and lead a different kind of life. Makes you wonder why people stay in a world they just want to run away from.

It was strange getting off the highway. A few blocks north of the QEW, the lights on hurontario were out. Surprisingly, despite the fact that we're talking about four lanes of traffic in each direction (4 northbound, 4 southbound and 4 both east & west bound) - traffic flowed smoothly exercising the four way stop rule. Trust me, I've never seen intersections flow that smoothly since. There was no one there to control the traffic - just common courtesy.

Everyone was leaving. Walking out of the mall. But it was early afternoon. Nothing could explain the flood of people we were moving against. The first store closed its doors to us. Luckily they offered an explanation. The power was out - they were obligated to shut down as they couldn't run their cash registers.

I guess we've all lost track of the ways of the calculator. Everything is so easy to us now.

Leaving, was not as easy. Police had set up in all the major intersections and traffic was now inching away. It was much nicer without the police assistance, but no one would know any better. They weren't there 15mins ago. Gas stations were jammed with long lines of cars. Something was up.

Red's radio wasn't the most reliable thing in the world. Usually died after rainfall. I packed a portable radio in the trunk. We grabbed that and two car heated drinks from my 'emergency' tupperware bin. It was a hot day. Drinking our scorched waters made me feel that we were better off dehydrated.

Very little information was offered over the radio waves at the beginning. But the power outage had spread. At first it seemed like just your regular section of traffic lights blown, but it was bigger than this. The QEW going home was a disaster. All the off ramps proved more challenging, which lead to extended times on the highway. It was rush hour for the westbound cars, yet eastbound was moving slower.

Terrorism was a thought. What happened here?

I don't recall how long it took us to park the car. I lived in the Queen & Spadina area at the time. It must have been a long time. We met up with my brother and walked around the city. It was incredible. Everything came to a stop. Street kids were controlling intersections, harnessing respect from motorists who became dependent on their traffic flow directives. They were mesmerizing to watch. I can't explain it.

As sun set that night, the city came to life. We had a corded phone in the house - so we were blessed with outside contact. Cell phones were dead. Cordless phones fell victims as well. We were able to talk to our parents in northern ontario - living the same moment in a different way. They had their power back that night I think.

I took out my camera - the ancient Hi-8 beast - and we walked Michael to work that night. He did night shifts for the TTC during his summers as a student. The subways were shut down, but they opened up the gated doors for him. (TTC sent a train through their system to pick up all their workers. All employees spent the night waiting for the power to return. It never did.) I set my camcorder to night mode. It was incredible. Armed with a flashlight or two and this camcorder, we found our way to Queen street. It must have been after 10.30pm. The night vision brought a new look on the world around us. I'm going to give a shout out to this greenish glowing vision - but it's incredible how great this setting works in the dark.

The world was dark all around us. Without any help, you would be bumping into people everywhere you stepped. On the main streets, we followed these two people walking with an IKEA lantern and a candle inside. I was enjoying what I was seeing in people that night. A real sense of community was emerging, even at Queen and Spadina.

At City TV, people gathered to find out what was happening. The weather for tomorrow was grim. Another hot and muggy day was upon us. I hoped for rain, especially knowing that there would be no where to escape the heat tomorrow. I videotaped the news broadcast to show my roomates.

A spontaneous party errupted on Spadina. My sister didn't want to go, so we went home instead.

We woke up to darkness. The living room at the apartment had no windows. Two roomates were away (Sarah we thought was missing, cause we never found her until after the blackout ended - and Carly left to go to a cottage to avoid the city). Dana, Jen and myself went to the pub for food. I don't know why - we had so much in the fridge that we were trying to eat.

We didn't know when the power would come back on.

Half price fare...not a bad deal. Pubs were in a hurry to get rid of their beer. I guess once its on tap, it can go bad. All refridgerated food was on sale as well. A precaution. I never did cross paths with an ice cream shop giving away free ice cream. Damn.

There wasn't much to do to entertain an out of town visitor. Casa Loma gardens. High Park. Outdoor activities were a thought - but not if there aren't any participants outside yourself.

Our area didn't see power until I believe sometime around 5pm the day after. It didn't last long. We were on rolling brown outs until the next day. Especially being downtown Toronto, there is a higher demand for a smaller area. Hospitals and emergency crews were priorities in receiving power. Makes sense.

I didn't have to work at the hospital that weekend. I was a SARS screener. It made for a memorable summer. Toronto was going through a lot.

Now i'm remembering SARS Stock.

I was called for a film job that day - to drive to/from New York City to pick up something for a commercial company. It didn't work out - I was too young (needed to be 23 to drive the rental). I wasted my Saturday night waiting for confirmation. It never came.

A quiet weekend. I think we ended it by watching 'Finding Nemo' at the movie theatre that Sunday. That night I was in contact with more of my friends - hearing all about what they did when the city went black.

There was no promise that the power would remain in our area at the beginning, but I don't remember it ever going out again that summer.

The CN tower didn't really light up the night sky after that blackout, until the LED lights were introduced almost a year ago. I remember missing the skyline for the longest time.


Earth Hour. Tonight from 8-9pm. All around the world, a global movement to bring awareness to global warming. An event started by Australia last year - has turned into a wolrd wide call to action.

I spent my night at home. By candlelight, I spent some time boxing with my bag (purchased on air miles points).

I miss my kick boxing years. It was nice to punch the bag and do leg training again.

I spent the time thinking about everything going on in my life. For one hour in the candle light. My mind finally had rest.

I think too much.

By the end of the hour, I was already reading about China...the last leg of our trip.

We will be in Wolong during the rainy season. A season they do not suggest you visit during. Leeches take over the park apparently.

This is what I learned in the dark.

Yuck.

Rust spot amidst the dirt

Spring like weather last weekend.

It's snowing a bit today.

It's cold. Dropping temperatures.

Winter is creeping back. Yet, it's the first day of Spring.

Monday, I saw a robin.

:)

Alas, another snowfall

Just when I thought I was in street parking prime, another whopper of a snowfall hits this city. I shovelled the joint driveway and both my landlady's sidewalk and my neighbour's - and twice the snow has since fallen. Sad times. The snowbanks are so high that tossing the snow off the driveway is actually quite back aching.

I'm just crying a river. I'm alive and well, and have a warm cave to hide in at the end of the day - so no real complaints. Although, most of the city is. I bet the government is - cause they spent A LOT of money cleaning up this city because the icy snowbanks were really getting out of hand, and now it's all back to the way things were.

A word to the wise - do not purchase movies at Pacific Mall. Yes, I did it. I did a bad thing. I'm in an industry - and I actually purchased pyrated flicks. Mind you - two of them, I would never pay to rent or watch in theatre, one was for someone else and the last one I DID pay to see in theatres and I bought it for my brother cause he went to the theatre to watch it and the film was interrupted by a power outage - so he's never seen the end of the movie.

NONE THE LESS - it's no excuse. It was a bad choice - and I paid for it cause the movie quality is CRAP. So bad on one of them, I didn't even try to watch more than a minute.

It's just not worth the attempt. Be smart, rent from the library for free!! :)

If the weather is getting you down - I advise you take a walk (or a drive) to visit this man, who I am positive is the happiest human being on this planet. I actually don't know his name, which makes me very sad - but he is the most amazing human I have met in a long time. Where might you find this gentle soul? He is a parking attendant under the building on the North West corner of Windosr & Front street. He is an asian man who works the later afternoon to evening shift on the weekends - and it generally only costs 5$ - so we park there for church.

I don't know how, but at one point Brent and I befriended him, maybe by making a comment about how happy he always is. He is beyond uber polite to every single person he comes into contact with AND his smile is contagious. Any worry you may have that day melts away with his presence. I have actually taken people to my car JUST to meet him on the way out. This is a man who works 7 days a week - and NEVER complains. He holds a full time job Mon-Fri and works on the weekends at this parking lot. He does this to provide for his family. We also run into him on holidays as people from the parking lot place call in sick, leaving him to replace him as his company knows he doesn't work at his other job on holidays.

His spirit is a great example for all of us. If only there were more people like him who walked on this planet - and then if only he was more visible to the world - he would infect way more people with his wonderful presence.

There are special people out there who you just have to tell the world about - and he is definitely one of these earth angels. I just want to hug him and bake him cookies all the time.

Wonderful. Praise God for blessing us with pockets of joy in the gloominess that has become this city in the winter months.