I planted a seed, and hope that motivation sprouts from the ground

My biggest problem lately has been my lack of motivation. I need to find motivation to work – and be merry and rollerblade and work out and rock climb. My head is in a whirlwind. I am excited to buy my gear. I know I keep saying it – but despite wanting to stay in Toronto, my heart is calling me away. At the same time, I feel called to stay in the city for another year – which is encouraging. It may be my last. I pray that God can provide a job so that I can afford to stay – otherwise, I need to leave.

I’m going to learn Maori while I am here – to help with my travels to New Zealand – not that Maori is a largely spoken language – but I would love to meet the aboriginals and in sign of respect, I can take the time to learn their language. I am also excited about continuing to learn Swahili. Brian started to teach it to me in university because I was really interested in this language. I can remember my first lesson was on my neighbour’s white board outside their rez room. I met Brian, who is from Kenya and lived in my house in residence. We were in the hallway and I was leaving a message on Charlene’s door (neighbour). He came by to say hello – and we started talking and then he told me he was from Kenya we started talking about Swahili. So he wrote different sayings that I had to practise on Char’s whiteboard, which I later copied onto paper. It was a funny way to meet Brian. I am very proficient in this one specific conversation – (Kwaheri.
Habari yako. Mizuri sana, na wewe? Hakuna. Nafania nini.) where I can say hello to myself, ask how I’m doing, say I’m chilling, how about you? There’s more to it, but I think I would butcher the grammar/spelling. It’s actually quite funny. So, I can be very polite and start a great conversation – however, I can’t move on too much more from there! I plan on learning more in the near future. I would love to spend some time in Kenya (and other parts of Africa). I might just travel out there to meet up with Sarah in Nairobi before her placement at the UN ends. : )

Goose and I went to the first night of York’s 4th year film screening. It was very disappointing. I opted out of hanging out with the profs, an old friend and a lot of 4th year students – I never was big on hanging out with university film people when I was at York. By our fourth year, it was almost like high school – with the ‘popular’ crowd and the outcasts and the in-betweeners – and I’m not a fan of this type of division. It was actually probably the most annoying year at York in terms of my program. Also living on campus, you tend to hang out with your rez friends a lot more.

Shopping – it’s time. I would love to get one more job. I’m praying for this show called Jumper to call. They haven’t hired their producers’ assistants yet – so my fingers are crossed. The only possible downfall is if they bring their assistants from LA – which could happen.

Linda is not so gung-ho about the rock climbing for the summer. I’m sad about this, but it’s okay. I hope to find a climbing partner in the near future. Not having a partner is the only reason why I don’t climb anymore – you need a belaying partner. Sarah and I were going to join a gym together, but then she was offered this contract with the UN. We were both sad about the climbing, but very excited about the job prospect. I think I’m going to buy a lateral thigh trainer, skip rope and roller blade.

This girl I knew in elementary school is causing probs in my home town. She has been arrested for B&E and will be in jail for 3 months + 18 month probation. It’s kind of sad. I remember thinking that this girl was on the path to recovery but she has fallen again. I hope that she is able to find a social worker in jail that could be her mentor. We’re too old for crap like this.

I was just talking about this last night – how when I go home, I always want to go shopping with my mom, but the second I get into the mall I want to leave. For some reason I dread bumping into anyone that I knew in high school. It’s nothing against anyone – but I mean seeing a friend is nice – say hello and catch up. But then there are the people you knew by face and were never friends with, and sometimes they were just plain mean in school, and they act all nice when you bump into them in the present. I’m all about forgiveness and knowing that high school was high school and we’ve all grown up since then, but I’m really not a fan of ‘fake people’. I find that a lot when you bump into old ‘acquaintances’ – there’s almost always one person who is genuine, and one side really forcing being nice. Ugh. I have no idea why I’m blogging about this.

Clearly I needed to vent about something – and this is my safe haven. I am going to be productive now. I need to read Mere Christianity.